Welcome to the horniest time of the year…

Here are some March things to do: Eat fruit naked in bed! Masturbate! Take a walk in a park! Lounge all day with a lover! Run as fast as you can! Do magic mushrooms and make friends with a tree! Take your cat on a walk in a park! Have sex for hours while taking break to write erotica together!

Venus exalts and then the Sun exalts in spring. That’s why you feel so alive. You might hear different birds singing in the morning around now. You might see little plants start to sprout. The world is waking up. The days are getting longer. Hot air rises.

Pleasure is a complicated thing. Sometimes, pleasure is a story. Other times, we may seek punishment as pleasure because we feel like pleasure warrants punishment. Pleasure is never found by following a script but always through the challenge of creativity. Pleasure has to be earned but resists simply being a reward.

When you prioritize your pleasure, the world opens for you. Prioritizing your pleasure is never a solitary act but always a political act. Pleasure is about understanding that the world exists to serve life and not capital.

When you doubt your responsibility to pleasure, consider watching a cat when it demands to play. My cat doesn’t doubt her right to fun. She brings her favorite toy to me with her mouth, stands up on hind legs, and clings her front paws onto my leg while meowing in a demanding tone. If I don’t get up, she jumps right onto my keyboard. She doesn’t care that I’m working. She doesn’t try to control my reactions and she doesn’t live in fear that I will not accept her desire for pleasure. She simply asks for what she wants. If I don’t give her what she wants, she makes a stink face. She doesn’t punish me.

Most of us have stopped asking for things that we want. We anticipate being rejected and so we don’t give ourselves the chance to experience rejection. We anticipate not having enough time so we don’t give ourselves enough time. We anticipate our pleasure not having value and so we don’t value our pleasure.

My cat is your role model this March. Venus and the Sun, being exalted, want you to know exactly what you want and they want you to ask for these things. If you don’t get what you want, Venus and the Sun want you to make a stink face and acknowledge your disappointment. They want you to not punish yourself for asking for what I want, even in the moments when you don’t get what you ask for. Venus and Sun want you to not be afraid of the art of the demand even when the world is afraid of that act.

Pisces

You’re the sign in which Venus exalts. That means that you’re one of the most powerful sluts in the world. Being a slut means that you don’t allow anyone to own you. You don’t allow your desire to be curbed by anyone else’s fears, much less your own. It means that the sheer love and appreciation that you have for yourself and body will always conquer any doubt that you inherit from the world.

Being a slut doesn’t have to be a power that you contain with sexuality. Being a slut is a set of ethics that you can use as reference when you’re choosing food, making friends, or choosing work. Being a slut means that you respect yourself, your actions, and your desire even when your oppressors think that they can choose what you call yourself.

Aries

Waste some time. How many things have you learned as the result of missing the train or making a blunder or exploring a Wikipedia wormhole? You don’t learn by being in control of your time. You learn when you allow yourself the time and space for imagination.

You don’t live long enough to use up all of your time productively. You have to waste a lot of it if you are going to keep your curiosity. You have to be as useless as you are useful. You have to impactfully rest in a way that inspires you. No guilt trips, no procrastination, and no self blame—just waste your time.

Taurus

The intimacy that you seek from Romance with a capital R is a ghost in the machine of a bad movie trope. The love that you actually want is right there in front of your face. You have love because you know how to love. You are loved not through any virtue that you have earned but because you were blessed with a life such as yours.

In March, love your friends. Love is an action that you redescribe when you carry groceries to a sick friend, hook pinkies with a friend crush, and fall asleep on the phone with a best friend. Love doesn’t keep tabs on people or seek to control their perceptions. You do not do these things because you are secure and confident in all the ways that you love.

Gemini

You’re an intellectual slut. This means that you derive just as much intellectual joy from a soap opera as you do from a scientific journal. You don’t allow your intellect to be described by either institution nor industry.

In March, show off a bit. Show off your intellectual prowess. Make sure that other people appreciate just how smart you are. Stop listening to your imposter syndrome and understand that you can be both a believer and a doubter all in one. Allow your doubt to give you complexity and consideration instead of letting it make decisions for you.

Cancer

The best superpower that you have, Cancer, is that you feel free when you understand. This is because your resilience comes from your ability to change when you understand the patterns that motivate your behaviors. Understanding is the sexiest thing that anyone can do for you—it’s a type of intimacy that cannot be faked or replicated without commitment.

Your job for March is to fall in love with your depth and brilliance. It’s your understanding that makes it so that you are able to create safety for yourself. It’s your understanding that makes you a refuge. It’s your understanding that makes you wise.

Leo

You do not belong to anyone but yourself. You are not owned and you are not required to take on the burden of wearing other people’s fears. This is what gives you your beauty but it is also what makes you fearsome—it’s your ability to accept without becoming enmeshed.

March is about understanding that your generosity is not carelessness but a gift of trust that you give to yourself. It’s about accepting that you are not to blame for betrayal and that your naivete will only serve to bless you just as much as desire. March is about not holding your own capacity for trust against your own heart.

Virgo

You do not have to be perfect in order to be in relationship with those who you admire and care about. You are not able to earn relationships without judgment. Rather, those who do not judge you refuse to do so only because it is against their own ethics to do so. Those who accept you are consistent in their practice of accepting themselves.

Accept yourself as imperfect and not broken. Accept that you are a product of an imperfect world and that you live in resistance to this world. Accept that sadness does not redeem you but that empathy translates into action. Accept that those who accept your pleasure can also accept your distress because you don’t live to fix others but to love life.

Libra

Healthy procrastination is when you understand what tasks that you have to get done but you joyfully accept that performance anxiety will never make you better at accomplishment. Healthy procrastination is when you have confidence in your rejection of work even when you do not feel safe in saying “no” with finality. Healthy procrastination means that you do not base your self worth on what you get done.

Healthy procrastination is a necessity survival skill. Do not punish yourself for your own survival. Do not blame yourself because you have not taught yourself compassion yet.

Scorpio

What has to happen before you are able to experience pleasure? If you live in the same world as the rest of us, then pleasure is not so easy. Pleasure is specific and demands safety that can often feel rare. Because you have done so much to know yourself, you have also demanded safety so that you are able to nurture your pleasure.

Because knowing your pleasure takes such an immensity out of you, protect it. Protecting your pleasure means that you decide with confidence what boundaries you need in order to cultivate it. It means that you do not owe trust or pleasure to anyone who you do not feel pleasurable or trusting toward.

Sagittarius

Your freedom is earned when you forgive not others for having perpetuated harm against you but when you forgive yourself for having been in those situations where you were harmed. You are not a perfect person who anticipates everything. You cannot have learned the things that you have learned before you learned them.

Forgiving yourself isn’t easy. Forgiving yourself is about giving up the idea that you are in control. When you admit that you are not in control, you also learn that you are not responsible for predicting the actions of other people.

Capricorn

You’re not meant to choose a group of people and assume the role that you think will give you acceptance. That’s not how you make friends. The reason why that’s not how you make friends is because no one respects you when you do not understand that it is unfair to anticipate social rejection while expecting the work of acceptance to be done for you.

You will change your friends just like your friends change you. Your friends want you to change them only because change is life and relationships are alive. They expect that you will accept yourself before you try to accept them.

Aquarius

Unless your income comes from the exploitation of other people’s labor, stop feeling guilt about your relationship to money. Stop feeling guilty about not having enough for necessities and stop feeling guilty about wanting to make more money. Having needs while living in a capitalist system that means that you have to pay to meet does not make you a capitalist. Exploiting labor makes you a capitalist.

Once you stop shaming yourself for having desires, then you will be able to better see what your desires actually are. You have a multitude of desires that you have hidden away because you have become accustomed to alienation. Forgive yourself for forgetting your desires and allow yourself to become hungry again.