Loving Venus in Scorpio is like loving a creature who wants desperately to, but feels as though they must refrain from, eating you alive.

Like any Mars ruled Venus, Venus in Scorpio is physical. It doesn’t care so much about sweet words and presents. When Venus in Scorpio wants you, it wants you in the flesh. It wants to hold you down, to taste you, and it wants to take your weight under its own. Venus in Scorpio wants to trap you.

I once asked my friend who has a Scorpio Venus what it’s like living with one. “Do you want the PC or the non-PC version?” they asked. I chose the non-PC option, of course. “We want to own,” they admitted. “To possess.” He said it in that way Scorpios tend to say things so seriously that they become funny.

The condition of being afflicted with Venus in Scorpio is the condition of being afflicted with desire. Desire is terrifying. If desire were not terrifying, we wouldn’t have emotions such as envy or jealousy or regret. Desire is sometimes so terrifying that it is easier to corrupt something that we so desperately want than it is to feel the weight of our desire.

Venus in Scorpio likes to corrupt. It likes to feast on something that it finds pleasure in until they are sick with it. When Venus in Scorpio wants something, it wants to sink into it and it wants to pull you along for the ride. Venus in Scorpio doesn’t care if you can breathe or not. Oxygen? Why would you want oxygen when you could find yourself smothered quite safely in a Venus in Scorpio’s arms?

I’m dating a Venus in Scorpio. One of the most terrifying moments in our relationship came when I found myself trapped underneath them and they whispered in my ear, “I want to tie you up and roast you and eat you like a little pig.”

Loving a Venus in Scorpio is sometimes about loving the suffering that is love. It’s about loving the physical pining because missing a Venus in Scorpio isn’t about wanting a phone call or about wanting a text message. It’s about wanting presence, scent, and weight.

Scorpio Venuses like to toy with jealousy. Jealousy is a scary kind of thing, something that could threaten a relationship if you allowed it to. For Venus in Scorpio, jealousy is a toy. They play with it because they’re terrified of it. They eroticize it. They play with cuckoldry. They experiment with scenarios in which jealousy can feel less like danger and more like arousal. I’ve noticed that there are a great deal of Venus in Scorpio people who are polyarmorous not because dating more than one people comes easily but because it is hard.

Venus in Scorpio sometimes looks at a choice and chooses to go down the harder, more terrifying route. They do this because choosing terror means that they can unchoose it.

Sometimes, people complain about Venus in Scorpio tests. If Venus in Scorpio tests is because they, like all debilitated Venuses, don’t exactly know how to hunt. If a Venus in Aries moves suddenly and abruptly, Venus in Scorpio doesn’t move at all. They prefer to set a trap and to simply wait it out. If Venus in Scorpio asks hard questions, it isn’t because there are any wrong answers. It’s because they are observing you. They notice what you do and what you say.

Loving a Venus in Scorpio is about loving observation. Venus in Scorpio notices everything. They don’t get scammed and, if they do, they knew they would get scammed before they did. It’s just that their desire, at that moment, became bigger than their suspicion.

Loving a Venus in Scorpio is about realizing that, in loving them, that their desire became bigger than their suspicion. It’s about realizing the weight and the mass of a desire so secret that it shakes the ground when it becomes visible. Venus in Scorpio hides sometimes not because they don’t trust you but because they’re afraid that, in loving you, that they could lose themselves.

Sometimes, Venus in Scorpio is comical. There so much terror around desire. Desire is so big and overwhelming. And then—what do they need? Ask them to list it out. It’s comfort, it’s hugs, it’s consistent kisses, and it’s good mornings and good nights.

Very often, Venus in Scorpio doesn’t ask for very much at all. Like most debilitated Venus people, Venus in Scorpio tends to see love itself as so overwhelming that exploration of that love can seldom feel accessible. Venus in Scorpio tends to shortchange themselves. They tend to be people who pride themselves on not asking for much even if they want much, much more.

Loving a Venus in Scorpio is about loving the tease. It’s about giving a little, just enough to whet the appetite, because it’s overwhelming to give a lot all at once. It’s about loving the hunger of desire and it’s about noticing all of the things that could possibly make desire feel a little more like comfort. Loving Venus in Scorpio is about sinking, gracefully and graciously, into something that can feed you or eat you.