Dear Imposters,

Currently, there are at least three accounts on Instagram impersonating me. Of course, Instagram doesn’t do a thing which means I can’t do a thing. Some of them may have me blocked but, still, I see you. I know you’re there. People email me screencaps all the time. It’s all very rote at this point. I apologize (even though I don’t have control over the situation and can’t do anything about it). I ask them to block and report the account (even though I know Instagram won’t do a thing).

I come from Henan which is known for its scammers. Scams are a part of any lively ecosystem. Henan is known for its liars and its swindlers mostly because Henan is one of the poorest and most populated parts of China and also because it suffered two consecutive famines in the last century. Chinese people say that Henan is the China within China meaning that the things that people think of when they think of China (cheap, low class, and full of liars) are what Chinese people within China think of Henan.

I’ve always been proud to be from Henan. It’s such old country. It’s where Zhuge Liang is rumored to be from. Zhuge Liang is the best of the tricksters. In the old war stories, he once stopped an army from attacking a fortress with a paucity of soldiers inside by opening the gates wide open and posting two people with brooms at the gate while he played music. It confused his enemies so much that they retreated, thinking that this had to be a trap. Zhuge Liang is a scammer’s icon.

I understand the attraction of being a scammer. There’s a lot of scammers from where I grew up and I had to watch out for even my family members scamming me at times. I grew up hearing about a cousin’s great con or my dad’s strategy to get free apples disingenuously (My dad’s ancestry is from Gangsu, which is even more known for its liars even within Henan). It’s about being the quick witted one who can outsmart the system. This is a type of antihero that we all want to buy into.

This is a letter to my impersonators. What I want to tell you most of all is that, by doing what you are doing, you are wasting your own time.

It actually doesn’t feel so good to scam people. You can’t tell anyone about what you do and, even if you can, you can’t tell everyone. A part of you resides in hiding. This part of you, which rips off people who look to astrology who are also often people living through personal crisis or rupture, learns to be cold. It learns to not care.

In order to build that part of you up, you use all of your time and resources. It takes a lot of time and energy and labor to run a scam account, doesn’t it? You have to go through and screencap all of my posts through the carousels. You have to rack up at least some followers and you have to hope that no one shuts you down. The way you talk when you DM people doesn’t sound anything like me and, so, you have to message hundreds of people and hope that at least one of them is drunk enough not to notice.

Why don’t you use all of that time and energy and labor to do something that you can, in five years time, own up to? Why don’t you build a self with integrity?

I know you can do it. You know how to build something up. You know how to survive in a marketplace even if that’s not where the best ideas prosper. You know how to talk to people and it looks like you might have some time on your hands too.

What is it about you and makes you want to hide behind me? Why don’t you start living for yourself instead?

The self that you’re building with this game, it’s a secret self and it’s also a precarious strategy. You’re always thinking of when you’ll be shut down. You’re not actually building something for yourself with substance and, so, you’re just creating an empty presence on Instagram right now. Instagram is a platform that is in decline. It’ll be around for maybe a few more years.

What then?

I have clients who I have seen transform over years of seeing them come back and working on different things over and over again. I am so proud of them and I am proud of myself too. I have groups who I grow with. I’ve learned about myself building something a little creative and a lot caring and it’s made me trust the world when I used to decline it.

I want that for you. I want that so badly for you.

I want you to trust the world enough so that you are willing to be yourself—to not hide behind me but to be you. I want you to experience growing as you and for you to be moved to tears by people supporting you as you. I want you to find self respect so that you can move through the world with courage.

I want that for you because I am from the land of swindlers. I know all about scams. Scammers don’t age well in the same way that a scam doesn’t age well. This is because it takes a tremendous amount of trust to mature. I want better for you and I want you to do better for yourself.

Yours,
Alice Sparkly Kat

PS: if you’re reading this and you’re not one of my imposters, keep in mind that I will never DM you. The only time I have DMed anyone was to see a friend’s meme as I sat with them on a couch because they yelled that I never check DMs. The only other time was when I congratulated someone I knew years ago on some paintings. That’s it. That’s all my DMs in the last three years. I never use DMs to offer readings or to advertise things. It overwhelms me and I only use email. So, email me if you need me so that I will see it. Don’t DM me. If you see “me” DM you then it’s definitely not me. My energy is never “high” and I will never greet you with “grand rising.”