I’d love to see a great movie or read a great book about lesbian rivalry.

Ever since Mars entered Gemini, I’ve been really hungry for one thing: a beautiful, willing, and invested rival.

I’ve been asking all my friends to be my rival. It’s funny how people respond to such a request. One friend moaned asking why someone else can’t do it like it’s some chore. Another friend got very excited saying that this is also just what they need in their life. A third friend got a bit serious and we talked about some heavier feelings associated with rivalry.

Shounen anime is a genre that is built on the rival. In shounen anime, rivalry is not pathological the way it is described in media about girls but mutually respectful. There is deep intimacy in rivalry. You study your rival, wanting to know everything about them and sometimes even obsessing over them. You want your rival to succeed because their success also means that your success is possible. You rejoice when your rival levels up, becoming more motivated to level up yourself and you are only completely defeated when your rival stops doing the thing that both of you love to do for whatever reason.

There are a great number of romances built on the rival. Maybe rivalry is its own form of love.

I mean, it is thrilling. There’s the chase. There’s the tease. You picture your rival when you picture yourself in the game. You wonder how your rival sees and experiences you. You know that there is someone who knows you so deeply. You are unsure of whether you want to beat your rival or if you just want their attention.

I think that there are times when deep rivalry can also become solidarity. The interests of rivals, the obsessions and wants, are not oppositional, you see, but aligned.

December will be the depth of the Mars retrograde because Mars will be the furthest from the ecliptic it will be for the whole retrograde. Just to be clear, this isn’t part of the retrograde cycle. This is something that planets tend to do when they enter certain signs including Gemini or Capricorn. Mercury, too, is out of bounds but comes back within mid month.

Jupiter, too, will enter Aries on December 20th where it is ruled by Mars. Jupiter in its domicile is internally motivated. Jupiter in Aries likes a good competition.

And maybe a Mars ruled Jupiter will teach us what it’s like to have solidarity between rivals. There are protestors out on the streets right now. There are differences between these protestors and the groups that these differences form usually rival one another. And these groups have decided that they know each other deeply, that they will stand with each other. It turns out that solidarity in rivalry is possible.

I’d love to see a great movie or read a great book about lesbian rivalry. It could be set in high school where you learn how to socialize yourself. It could also be about scientists who race for a formula like Newton and Hooke or something. I think about the dynamic between Blair Waldorf and Serena van der Woodsen or the movie Mean Girls and feel a bit sad. Girls are often described as so jealous or envious or malicious that any friendship doesn’t function with the rivalry but despite it. Of course, I’m sure there exists some great fanfiction with deeply and intimate femme rivalry out there.

Sure, jealousy and envy and fear is part of rivalry. Rivalry has the ability to activate parts of us that feel frozen. But I don’t think rivalry is defined by only jealousy or envy or mutual fear. You tend to like your rival and, if you don’t like them, you respect them. It is also possible to maintain a rivalry after you have fallen in love with your opponent.

I’d also love to see stories about rivalry that are not about gaining power. A lot of the time, in shounen anime, it is about getting strong, becoming a better fighter, or becoming the best player and winning the championship. I think that Death Note is a good example of this. Light does want power but L isn’t interested in power. He’s only interested in his rival. They both say that they want justice but it becomes obvious that Light really wants power while L wants Light.

I want you to choose your games in December with this Mars retrograde in Gemini coming to a climax. I want you to have clear expectations. I want you to only engage in a game when it is clear that your rival respects you and that you can respect your rival. Otherwise, there is no point. Are you really trying to win or are you trying to win someone’s heart?

Sagittarius

I think that you are unafraid of your rival because you are unafraid of losing. You are unafraid of losing because you know how to learn. That’s who you are in your core. You are a learner. Everything becomes a lesson with you. Sometimes, it’s not about what you have already done or how smart you already are. It’s about how much you’re willing to play dumb so that you have a better chance of winning. You’re the child who is always willing to ask both the dumb and the bewilderingly profound questions. Never stop being that child.

So, in December, I want you to go for it. Risk humiliation. Don’t cop out and pretend that you are cooler and more blase than you are. That is a type of defense that will always be available for you later. Be passionate. You are passionate. You care. You care about your own success.

Jupiter makes you a bit of a horn dog these days. You are open hearted and unafraid. With this mindset, you can do anything you want. You can get anything you ask for. You just have to try asking enough times.

Capricorn

Oh, you’re hard at work these days. You’ve become both driven and focused. It’s just one of those periods of time when you surprise even yourself about just how much you are able to do in a day and how good it can feel, sometimes, to power through. Sometimes moments like these are necessary.

There may be another part of you that just wants to get away. Oh, it just wants to escape and go. It wants you to become unfettered. This part of you, desiring freedom, demands no restriction and no discipline.

Really, December is about feeling like you are the one who is directing your life. You want to be in charge of your self direction. You want to feel like you’re the one who is making your choices because you are the one who will have to take responsibility for them. That’s all December is about—that’s all that self discipline or rebellion is really about. December wants you to feel adequate enough for your own sense of responsibility.

Aquarius

Be only as aware of your mistakes as you need to be to move on. It is sometimes more important to know that you have a future than to repent for the past. This is because repentance is not the purpose of living. It can be a crucial part of the structure that holds life, maintaining integrity, but it is not the purpose.

Never punish yourself for living another day. People who make mistakes still deserve to live life. Count yourself as one of those people. It’s quite alright. You have never been one to pride yourself on perfection.

There’s a style of playing the game Go that is called oblivious genius. This type of player tends to make “​​sparkling moves that completely dumbfound the opponent” (senseis.xmp.net). The oblivious genius also tends to make ridiculous mistakes because they have no attention for detail. I think that you have a bit of obliviousness and genius in you. Make your mistakes but keep playing the game. You have to in order to just keep being yourself.

Pisces

You’re at a sunset phase and beginning to rebuild yourself. You know the feeling of starting a new task when the sun is setting? It’s less rushed than in the mornings and you take more time to observe all of the people around you, feeling slightly out of sync with expectations around time and daylight.

There’s only one reason why anyone would start to build something during a sunset phase—because you want to. You know exactly what you want and you don’t care about regularity or pacing. You care about inspiration. It’s inspiration that tells you where to go, not the feeling of doing things at the right time and in the right order.

Do things in the wrong order and at the wrong time. Do things that you want to do. This is a trick to getting things going. It doesn’t matter where it all ends up. You might be starting a project that is fated for disposal. That’s fine. It’s about your willingness—that’s what you’re trying to support here.

Aries

Move away from smallness. There are times, when you prioritize precision or when you want to feel delicate, when smallness is what you need. Not in December. December is about feeling big and powerful. December is about being unafraid of giving. You know that you won’t fall too hard in December.

This includes the things that cross your wires. Is every conversation that you hear in your friend groups or on social media a conversation that needs your attention? Maybe not. Or, maybe so. That’s for you to decide and not me. It doesn’t depend on how interesting the conversation is but on what you decide to direct your attention towards.

You are able to grow when you are willing to grow. I want you to find the kernel of that willingness within yourself even when it’s not ready to be put into words or action. Just that feeling of being willing to become, to fall laughing, and to be more than just humble. Never be only humble when you are willing to be more.

Taurus

In December I want you to be honest about any illusions you may entertain about self control. I do think that life is firmly on the other side of self control. Self control is different from self responsibility or self accountability. It is different from choice. I think that, sometimes, we try to buy control when we are lacking in choice.

I want you to respect your own consent. Sometimes, respecting your own consent is a joyous thing. It’s a celebration of your power to choose what you want. Sometimes, respecting your own consent is a rageful or tormented thing. You are rageful or regretful that you were unable to choose, that you did not have access to choice.

It isn’t your job to make sure that anyone likes you. It is your job to make sure that you respect yourself. I hope that self respect can act as an anchor for you in December in a way that still offers you hope when self control falters. You don’t need to be in control of yourself to respect yourself.

Gemini

Expressing yourself can be its own goal. Your expression of self does not need to solve any problems or to feel overly strategic to be solid, strong, and there for you on its own.

The thing that always impresses me about you is your ability to always put your teeth into the things that you speak on. You know how to bite, how to cut into the meat of something, and how to slice something so that you can peer into it. Sometimes, you even bite your own tongue just to see what you are made up of.

Use your teeth in December. Pretend that everyone is listening to you and all of the highly specific and raunchy words that come out of your mouth. Find new ways of telling an old story or old ways of narrating something that is only now just emerging. Your tongue is a knife and your throat is sliced. You’re open and you will be understood.

Cancer

Mum's the word. You’ve been holding your tongue these last couple months, rejoicing in the privacy that you are able to offer yourself when you allow yourself the protection that you yearn for. There’s something incredibly soft about protection. It’s about knowing your limits, being sensitive to them, and listening to yourself the way that a tactful lover might listen to you.

Keep on giving yourself that privacy. It’s a really special flavor of self love. You will only want to share things when you understand that protection is always available to you. I want you to share when you want to share and not because you feel that you have to. There are always things that someone else might not need to know about you.

There’s something really special about reminding other people that they deserve self protection too when they might be overwhelmed. You teach people how to protect themselves. You are able to do that without straining too hard.

Leo

Your only job this month is to be around good friends and to have fun. Be around people who actually make you feel good. Be around people with whom you can take off your shoes, accidentally do impulsive things, and laugh way too loud and often with. Laugh too loud and often, don’t worry about making the next joke, and stop being so serious.

There is more at stake when you are around people you truly care about but you are also less anxious about getting somewhere with them. December is a month of love for you. What does it feel like to be loved? To be loved by you?

Relax into love. Squirm in it if you please. Scream and tense up. Jerk away and then come back. Stay forever or make a time limit. Do whatever it takes to expand your capacity for holding love. It’s a brilliant thing to enjoy.

Virgo

There’s something that you do which speaks to your character—you tend to try to only judge people for the things that you would want to be judged for yourself. This means that you want to hold onto your own values and morals. Good judgment is also self reflexive judgment.

There also exists the situation of other people who do not want to be judged for the things that you want to be judged for. There are also people who may judge you for things that you do not care about and do not want to be judged for. Both of these situations can be challenging or even compromising.

Judgment is not a virtue or flaw on its own. Judgment is just a conversation starter. It doesn’t complete itself. You’re someone who has what it takes to start conversations but also to maintain them, to keep them going and to keep them interesting.

Libra

It’s all about curiosity now. You can face your toughest challenge yet, feel like you don’t want to confront something, or feel completely stifled and still, somehow, retain your curiosity. That’s the beauty of life and what keeps you alive, the fact that you don’t have to give up the spirit of inquisition just because someone or something else has demanded your attention away from you.

Study. Learn things. Take photos of weird things that you see. Pick up weird looking stones and find out what kind of plant that is. Obey the green language owl. Take a class. Blow your own mind on something just because and not even for the sake of any large goal.

The world is a big place. Your curiosity wants to prove that to you. It doesn’t live for satisfaction or to find out any objective fact but for the sheer enjoyment of knowing that the world is too big for you to know in just one lifetime. Be with your curiosity and live.

Scorpio

I wonder if it’s possible to engage in conflict of interest, in conflict of identity, or conflict of perception without seeing threat. When we feel like someone might be out to get us and react that way, I do think that can make the thing that seems so threatening more threatening. This can keep us from knowing all of our options. There are always more options.

Are you willing to notice all of the options that are available to you? That’s the question I want you to keep with you in December. Are you willing to feel like an option is something that you can choose even when no one is stopping you? When someone tries to stop you, it makes us notice an option more but there are also options available that no one is trying to stop us from taking.

Your capacity for recognizing options depends on a lot of things. It can depend on your capacity for self empowerment, for enjoyment, and can depend on how much sleep you got the night before and the nutrients you have in your body. It can depend on a mood or a temperament. It can depend on time. Supporting your capacity to recognize all of your options is really about supporting your own availability.