Mars is the soldier archetype but the battle is really a ritualized game. Think of Mars as the player. What Mars loves to do is play games and we play games in two areas of life the most: in love and in war.
If countries play games (wage war) with each other to establish their borders, assert power, and influence relations, then individuals play games to assert their boundaries, also assert power, and socially influence those around them. Your Mars sign is the way you do this best. Each Mars sign has its own set of strengths and weaknesses.
Aries: Chicken
You know that scene in Crazy Rich Asians where she realizes that the mom has been playing a game of chicken with her all along and that whoever flinches first is the loser? That’s what Mars in Aries likes to do. When crossed, they go directly for a simple test of whose nerves are steelier.
Yes, that’s slightly intimidating if you don’t understand the rules of the game they’re playing. Whoever shows the most aggression, most of the time first, is usually the victor in a game of chicken. That’s because the aggressor has the element of surprise. However, that also means Mars in Aries will often barge towards an opponent without really preparing to be challenged in turn at all. That’s the weak spot.
If you don’t flinch, or react emotionally, usually Mars in Aries runs out of cards to play. They’re not prepared for an all out war. That’s the reason they seem aggro at all, because they know they need to win during that first confrontation to win at all. In love, it’s the same way. They tend to overwhelm their object of interest with attention, but lack motivation to sustain the effort.
Taurus: Withholding
If capitalism is a game, Taurus wins through a pure instinct to hoard. They think that the longer they hold onto anything, even if it’s $10, it’ll be worth more in ten years (and they’re right about that way, kind of). A Taurus hoards their talents, their information, their resources, and their time in order to create the illusion of scarcity. A Mars in Taurus fights by withholding. If you’re looking for an emotional reaction, you will never get it from them. In fact, the more they think you want them to react, the more stoic they will become.
The game that Mars in Taurus plays is to position themselves as being completely unmoved one so that you get even more worked up. They will refrain from owning up to the emotional reaction they cause by saying that it’s your fault for having feelings about their actions that affected you, that they were already doing things like this and you knew who they were from the beginning. Arguing with them is like slamming yourself repeatedly into a brick wall. They’re just sitting and waiting for you to get tired.
In love, Mars in Taurus will keep their feelings under wraps. Their strategy is to always wait and wait more for the love affair to manifest itself. This is a patient sign and the idea is that the longer you sit on a crush, the more special everything is when finally something happens.
When struggling against a Mars in Taurus, don’t try to get through to them in the first place. Nothing you will ever do or shift them once they start going down a route. Treat them like a boulder. Plan around them and leave them be. In love, don’t try to push. Leave plenty of time to do your own shit around time spent with them so that they can take their sweet time. The more you push, the slower they will move.
Gemini: Mind Games
If you ever have a fight with a Mars in Gemini friend, you know that what you think happened and what they think happened is entirely different. There seems to be a unreconcilable gap between the two world views that talking only escalates, never eliminates. The more Mars in Gemini gets to talk through conflict, the more it further confuses the vantage point of their opponent.
“You said this yesterday,” Mars in Gemini reminds their sparring partner, “And it directly contradicts what you’re saying today” or “You said that I did this yesterday afternoon but then got confused and said it was the day before yesterday, so which is it? Do you even know what you’re accusing me of?”
They catch all the doubt and rethinking amidst an argument and uses it to fuel their case. Soon, the argument isn’t about the issue that spawned it anymore but is purely a game of wits over who can have the last word. This is when Mars in Gemini knows that it has won, because there’s no one in the world who can compare when you’re stacking pure wit.
The position that Mars in Gemini wants to put you in is that of having to constantly defend yourself against every verbal attack, even when you did not feel that you had anything to defend over at the beginning of the argument. When you’re in that position, you’ve already lost because you’ve lost the point of even having an argument.
Cancer: Fear Mongering
Everything that a Mars in Cancer does is aimed at creating fear around a situation. An Insecure Mars in Cancer wants you to be as scared as they are so that you can wallow in it together. If they’re giving you the silent treatment, they’re creating the fear that you will lose them without them actually having to risk actually leaving. If they’re subtly criticizing you, they’re creating fear that you’re accomplishments aren’t actually as great as you thought they were.
Mars in Cancer games are very subtle and effective. Everyone has some sort of fear or insecurity, and they’re able to sense what that is intuitively. As soon as they feel threatened, they can’t help but use that fear they know you have to make you feel that you can’t live without them. “You need me to do this for you,” they tell you whether that’s verbally or through other means.
Playing games with a Mars in Cancer is emotionally draining. The thing you have to realize is that anyone who uses your insecurities against you can never solve your insecurities for you. Letting them make you feel anxious will only make you more insecure. When you’re sure in yourself, only then can you offer Mars in Cancer the reassurances they actually need.
Leo: Social Undermining
A Mars in Leo will never deal with you directly, because that would be them admitting that you’re on par with their status. When they play games, they will always create the illusion that they are vastly better than you by not being the one to approach you, making it impossible for you to escape their power, and making you fear them and their friends.
Think Blair Waldorf. She would never get in a fist fight in the school hallway. She’d rather sit back from somewhere and exercise her social control over the entire school to effortlessly take her enemies down. Mars in Leo doesn’t care about what you think and will never make the mistake of making it seem like they care what you think. They have enough friends/followers and gather their forces to blacken your name.
If you choose to play games with a Mars in Leo, understand that their following is only as strong as they believe it is. You’re not just dealing with them but their entire crew, which means that your dealing with the weaknesses of their entire crew. Subordinates can be bribed, emphasized with, or discredited. Remember that none of Blair’s followers were as loyal as they appeared.
Virgo: Scruntinization
Mars in Virgo will make you feel so read that you wish you were never born. The game they play is that of absolute obliteration through dissection. Oh, you think that it was “cruel” of them to mass email all your coworkers about some personal failure? They’ll have you know that maybe you’re just projecting that cruelty onto them because your own complacency has made you overly afraid of confrontation and now you not only habitually avoid responsibility but also shrink from the opinions of others. This is a placement that orchestrates a complete and total diss.
There are a hundred sides to a situation and Mars in Virgo is capable of occupying at least 99 of them at any given time so don’t think you can pull one over on Mars in Virgo by lying by omission. They see all of your mistakes, it’s just a matter of bringing it up or not. They understand you better than you understand yourself and, when engaged in a power play, they’ll make that known so loudly and publically that you literally have nowhere to hide.
Never try to match a Mars in Virgo’s analytical skills. If you try to read them the same way that they’re reading you, you’ll play right into their hands. They don’t have a big enough ego and what they have is built through a unrelenting process of self deprecation anyways so they can handle any critique you give them and use it to their advantage. Letting them flex their muscle will only expose your own pride more, since it’s nowhere near as flexible in comparison.
Libra: Dodging
The game that Mars in Libra orchestrates is pretty simple. They simply dodge the issue whenever it arises so that no one in the world could possibly blame them for it. Who would think to blame the person who is not even in the room?
In fact, in a desperate attempt to get out of the room, Mars in Libra will often even feign defeat just to escape. They’ll tell their opponent that perhaps they are right and that Mars in Libra must do some thinking on their own time and never return to the issue again. Their first priority is to never be the one to turn things ugly.
Not only does this actually prolong a conflict but it’s tremendously successful at making the other person the one to overreact first. When that happens, Mars in Libra simply sits back with an expression of “Who me?” and asks you why you are so upset. They were willing to come to your side, they just wanted to approach things reasonably. Once they make you look bad, they’ll be able to successfully ignore the problem until you decide to leave. Then they’ll be the only one in the room, and no one can blame them for anything either.
Scorpio: Power Play
Mars in Scorpio is interested in generating the affect of power. That means that everything they do is about some sort of influence over another person. Sometimes, the way to do that is through overwhelming another person. Other times, it’s through taking a vow of silence. Mars in Scorpio tailors their response according to their own awareness of their social position.
One thing you’ll never see them do is fight as an underdog. They understand that it’s pointless to do this because it will mean that they’re fighting a losing battle. Mars in Scorpio doesn’t fight losing battles. They fight when they already know that they will win.
They won’t always lash out, because they’ll
prioritize retaining their personal power rather than losing it in a brawl. If you piss one off, they’ll wait until they’re rich and famous to sabotage your career. When flirting with one, you can bet that they understand who has the power in any situation. They’re waiting to reply to every text message to create that perfect balance of inaccessibility and desire so they have the upper hand.
Sagittarius: Gaslighting
A Mars in Sagittarius’s game is the game of morality, of who is right or wrong in principle if not circumstance. They care less about the actual consequences to the game than being morally superior. They are capable of addressing all of your grievances against them as petty by telling you to look at the bigger picture. They were acting according to this belief they have, that they meant the best, that they were morally correct in some way and everything else is just a matter of perspective.
When dealing with Mars in Sagittarius, just let them be right. It’s impossible to force them to be wrong anyways. If you find yourself to prove yourself as right to them, you’ve already lost because you’ve absorbed their framework. It’s actually their quest to be right all the time that drives them into so much disaster so all you really have to do is wait for them to get there on their own.
That being said, it’s impossible to win with Mars in Sagittarius, if you desire to make them see your side of things, because they will only stay true to their version of the truth. In love, Mars in Sagittarius believes in true love. Again, it’s a matter of principle to them. Even when they hurt you, they will tell you that it doesn’t really matter because they truly love you and it’s that principle that matters. What Mars in Sagittarius needs to learn is that moral righteousness and even true love has no value if they’re hurting the people around them.
Capricorn: Supply and Demand
Mars in Capricorns are gifted at creating scarcity in their lives to drive others towards desperation. If they find that you begin to take them for granted, watch they block you out of their life so that you begin to really appreciate what a gift their presence actually is. Their gifted business-people because they keep their cards close to their chest and never let on how available their product is. This makes them excellent negotiators.
Mars in Capricorn will never be really eager to do anything. In fact, the more they want something the more they create the appearance of having better things to do with their time so that they can maintain that illusion of scarcity. Their time is valuable and they want you, and their boss, to know it. They’ll create excellent boundaries around communication so that their words are taken very seriously and hate being constantly available.
When dating a Mars in Capricorn, you will know they’re really into you when they play hard to get. If they seem like they’re not really trying that hard to be inaccessible, it may feel like it’s going great but they may not actually be that invested. When fighting with one, know that you won’t get a reaction right away. You’ll get a response only when Mars in Capricorn feels that the time is right and when they think that their words will hit the heaviest. They understand that it’s only when you’re completely silent that other people take what you have to say seriously.
Aquarius: Detachment
This is one placement that will never confess to reacting emotionally, even when they do. Their whole strategy is to float above the situation and look down upon what is happening with their head in the clouds, with a bird’s eye (or God’s eye) point of view. They’re describe conflicts they’re involved in as if they’re not even in it. By doing this, they occupy a completely objective position and cannot be faulted on for having an emotional bias.
Mars is Aquarius was not the person to get angry or fall in love, ever. If you think they are then you’re in over your head. They were merely observing the situation from afar. The more you try to involve them in an emotional battle, the more you lose them. They become a void where you begin to project your own traumas because of the complete lack of response. Then, they will chuckle and call you melodramatic.
It can be hard to play against Mars in Aquarius because no one likes to be the only emotional one in the game. It’s important to validate your own feelings when playing against one because that how you’ll hold the upper hand. Because Mars in Aquarius doesn’t validate their feelings at all, they’ll emotionally constipate their own heart until they erupt quite violently.
Pisces: Playing the Victim
The emotion that Mars in Pisces has almost complete control over is that of pity. They understand that, because of archetypal narratives ingrained upon us, that anytime someone sees a damsel in distress and a perpetrator of abuse they will automatically feel inclined to jump into action and embody the rescuer or hero archetype. It’s completely instinctual.
They use this in love and in war. When playing against Mars in Pisces, they will shed tears and talk about their trauma to anyone who will listen. They know that it’s their ability to take the form of something that needs saving that makes them so irresistible. They also know that no one can win a fight with the ultimate victim. The ultimate victim is not only faultless but also in need of compassion and support.
It’s best to ignore Mars in Pisces when they allude to a dark and traumatic past even when in regular conversation. And it’s hard to do this because their backstories can be as glamorous as that of some comic super villain. Don’t let Mars in Pisces become the pitiful one and you’ll have a leg over on them. They literally won’t fight you if they have to do it from a position of strength because they’ll sabotage years of careful self-as-victim persona crafting.
