Aries Cancer Relationships

Aug. 24, 2023, 8:44 a.m.

Aries and Cancer are squared to one another. You know, squares have a bad reputation in popular astrology. Always, there’s this idea that people can’t get along just because they have their Sun signs at a square. A lot of people get very freaked out because they have planets that square other planets in their own chart.

I’ve never really seen squares as particularly challenging. You know what squares do? They create a lot of variety! That means that signs that are squared to one another have a lot of dynamism. They’re signs that have a ton to talk about. A lot of the time, signs that square each other can’t get enough of each other.

When two signs are squared, they are operating in the same modality but in elements that make a lot of action when they interact. Earth and water coming together reinforce each other, becoming syrup, but fire and water coming together makes a great big fizzle and pop.

Aries is the sign that calls forth the spring equinox. Cancer is the sign that hinges on the summer solstice. These are two exceedingly bright signs.

The temperament of Aries and Cancer is actually the same. Both are cardinal. They are both excitable and they like to show that side of themselves, which is almost childlike, when they feel welcome. These aren’t signs that hide their feelings with stoic faces. Aries and Cancer are signs that squeal, that twitch, and yelp when they really get going.

That can be fun! Aries yells and Cancer whines back. They start barking at each other. Aries and Cancer can play together.

There’s a weird kind of tunnel vision that enwraps perception whenever two cardinal signs come together. Both Aries and Cancer love to direct their attention in a focused way. Aries has a one track mind and wants to get the job done. Cancer feels its longing as an obsession. If Aries and Cancer have any desire for one another, that desire gets going in an immediate way. It’s not fireworks. This is a bomb. There’s not much you can do to stop something as forceful as a bomb from going off.

You know what? I think that there’s something we tend to miss when it comes to Aries and Cancer dynamics. People often assume that both Aries and Cancer are signs that can’t hide their feelings. This is the opposite from true. In fact, I think that Aries and Cancer are signs that control their feelings in the same way.

Aries doesn’t need to show every emotion. Aries likes to direct its emotions. This is a Mars ruled sign. Cancer actually doesn’t need to show every emotion either. Cancer often conceals and really just wants every emotion to feel real. You know what makes feelings real? It’s action.

A lot of the conversations between an Aries and a Cancer might have to do with how you feel and what you can do about it. This is a very fast paced way of talking about things. It’s brutal, it’s honest, and it’s about real issues. There’s no pretentiousness when it comes to the relationship between an Aries and a Cancer. It’s not like you’re talking about science but you’re really talking about life. You’re talking about how you feel and what you do.

These are relationships that push. An Aries will make a Cancer grow and vice versa. An Aries will tell a Cancer to do something about what they want. A Cancer will show Aries that not everything has to be about glory or pride.

This is where it can get a bit tricky. I’m not trying to say that relationships between signs squared to one another are not tricky. Signs squared to each other have a lot of similarities but they won’t notice those similarities first. They’ll notice their differences first. That’s why the relationships between signs that are squared can be tricky. People usually need a lot of individuality in order to inhabit difference adequately.

Cancers don’t really esteem pride. They care about other things but not pride. This softens them and gives them fluidity. They don’t care for holding themselves up and over other things. Aries feels most vulnerable on matters of pride and dignity. One of Aries’s worst fears is public humiliation.

I think that one of Cancer’s humor strategies actually has to do with cutting down pride. They like to tease! That’s the famous Cancer snark. Cancer snark is a very intimate kind of snark because it tends to pull you in almost as though Cancer is saying, “you don’t have to be so prideful around me because I already know who you are inside.”

I know what you’re thinking. Oh, an Aries is not going to be happy with that. Well, let’s really take a look at things. Aries is deeply fearful of sudden public humiliation and, yet, it’s expressed through Mars. Mars is actually not such a proud planet. It’s no Sun and no Jupiter. Mars likes to charge at things head on and, when it does that, it actually fucks up a lot.

You could say this—Aries is a sign that fears public humiliation but is actually quite well versed in the art of humiliating itself.

This gives Aries a lot of cool things. Aries has a sense of humor too. Aries can take the Cancer snark. They can enjoy Cancer’s plays towards intimacy as long as the purpose is intimacy and not meanness. There needs to be care and caution here, of course. Both signs have the tools to hurt each other—Aries by becoming unpredictable and Cancer by reading Aries’s weak spots too closely. But this dynamic can also be a lot of fun and it can rapidly teach both signs a lot about themselves.

There’s something else that Aries can care a lot more about than Cancer—that thing is the quest to be a really good person.

Sometimes, Aries is interested in heroics. This is the strong sign, the sign that doesn’t want to mess things up. An Aries wants to be seen as a pillar of not just fierce independence and courage but also moral goodwill. They are purehearted creatures and they never want to lose that. This is why Aries always champions for the underdog. They’re fighters and fighters care about right and wrong.

A Cancer doesn’t need morality to express its deep sensuality. Usually, Cancer teases those display their righteousness too overtly quite readily. It’s not that a Cancer isn’t moral. They are. It’s just that things get more complicated here. Cancers never perceive the world through black and white. They know the feelings are sticky, that loyalties less so, and that who people think they are aligns more closely to who they feel themselves to be rather than who they say they are.

Aries is quite willing to be teased for any display of personal pride. Aries is less willing to allow someone to tempt their attachment to morality. In other words, you can tell an Aries that they’re being silly or absurd or even that they’re being a bit embarrassing. However, you shouldn’t contest an Aries’s faith in their innate goodness. You don’t get to tell an Aries that they’re not a good person and get away with it.

That’s a lot for Cancer. To Cancer, the naivete of Aries can feel almost confounding. Why do you get to pretend to be a hero when we’re all such troubled creatures, us human beings? You just want someone to sing your praises.

To Aries, Cancer can seem frigid or lazy. Why do you sit there and complain about injustices when you could get off your ass and try to do something about it? If you’re not trying to do something about the situation, then you don’t have the right to complain about those who do.

This conflict between two desires—between the desire for moral goodness and the desire for boundless understanding—is a crucial one. Most squares tell stories about conflicts that are important to life. It’s possible to desire each other across conflict, to understand, and even to see how we ourselves need change. Conflicts can be thrilling. Relationships between Aries and Cancer often are.

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