They’ll both hate me for saying this but…Cancer and Libra are very similar types of people. Both Cancer and Libra like to express submissiveness but in a in your face kind of way that can make even the most confident doms shrink away. Both Cancer and Libra have quite a few thoughts on other people and neither of them prefer direct confrontation over indirect acknowledgement.

Cancer and Libra are both cardinal. Cancer is water and Libra is air. How do you mix air with water? It’s very hard because air likes to rise and water likes to sink. Both Cancer and Libra are on the move because they are both cardinal.

Casually, Cancer and Libra don’t actually have a ton of tension. Like I said, the two signs appear to be very similar. They both worry just a tad too much about all of their friends and loved ones. They’re both incredibly responsive and like to stay connected. Both Cancer and Libra tend towards cautiousness and are careful observers of the world around them.

Both Cancer and Libra debilitate the planet Mars. Mars is about aggression and action. Neither Cancer and Libra are that into aggression or action even though they do like to start things (a trait of all cardinal signs). The Sun is weakened by both signs, making both lean towards shyness.

What is really going on in the dynamics between a Cancer and Libra? A lot actually stays hidden from view because both signs weaken the Sun. Libra is the sign of the Sun’s fall. Cancer is twelve places from the Sun’s home.

Imagine a conversation between a Cancer and a Libra. They are talking about heartfelt things, about people they both know. This is an interesting topic for both of them because both Cancer and Libra are curious socially. Both the Cancer and the Libra are quietly chatting and both are hugging pillows to themselves. They analyze each person they know psychologically. They analyze themselves psychologically. If you were to stumble upon this scene, you might think that you were witnessing two very close friends sharing an intimate moment.

But what is going on in the heads of the people actually talking? What are they sharing and what aren’t they sharing?

Most of the time, Libras don’t like to talk too long about a topic. Libras can sustain focus on one topic for around fifteen minutes at a time. They are willing to come back to the topic at hand but they don’t want to get lost in it or sink into it all at once. Libras like to take little breaks in everything, including sex. If you’ve talked too long about something, Libra will change the topic or make a joke. Libras especially like chatting while strolling because it’s easy to divert attention to new topics or parts ways.

Have you ever tried to get off the phone with a Cancer? Cancers don’t just let you go like that. Saying goodbye to a Cancer takes around the same length of time as the conversation you had with them. If you talk with a Cancer for an hour, it takes another hour to hang up. Cancers, like crabs, have claws. They latch on and they stay on. They don’t let people go that easily. Not only that, conversations with Cancers are swirling. Cancers like to circle around topics and speak on things recurrently, discovering new emotional epiphanies each time.

So—imagine that intimate conversation between Libra and Cancer again. What do you think is happening here?

I’ll tell you. Libra is thinking in their head, “When are we going to talk about something else? We’ve been talking about this for the whole time. Didn’t we talk about this last time we saw each other?” The Libra is right to some extent. Cancers like a lot of repetition and they like to talk at length about the same thing again and again. Libra, being a far breezier sign, feels frustrated with this.

What about the Cancer? The Cancer isn’t really thinking about what is happening in their own mouth. The Cancer is watching the Libra for response. Cancers love to share their deepest emotional secrets and they want to hear you talk about your heart’s inner recesses. Cancers are sensitive and intuitive people. They are noticing that the Libra isn’t sharing and they are wondering what wonderful secrets lay beneath this person’s casual demeanor.

“I’m a patient person,” the Cancer is thinking. “I’ll just keep being vulnerable and talking about what I’m talking about until they open up.” The Cancer continues opening up and spilling their feelings. The Libra keeps wondering when the topic will change.

Libras are easy, prefer levity, and like to float away. Cancers like to sink down, hold on, and come back. Libras complain that Cancers are just so heavy and redundant. Cancers complain that they don’t really feel like the Libra is present even though they give all the signals of listening. In the worst case scenario, Libra will call Cancer corny (Cancers are just heartfelt) and Cancer will call Libra emotionally stingy (Libras are just emotionally disciplined).

I think that this issue, which is basically just different expectations of conversation length and energy, is the main point of friction between Libras and Cancers. It’s not a huge issue but it’s not a small one either. How long we can pay attention to each other and how care happens can be a dealmaker or deal breaker relationally. Even though neither Cancer nor Libra like direct confrontation, they may drift away from one another now and then.

But what keeps Libras and Cancer coming back to one another? Like I said before, Libras might take a break from something or someone but they might come back. Cancers are infinitely nostalgic and have trouble leaving in the first place.

Cancer and Libra might come back to one another precisely because they seem so similar. Again, both signs are responsive first. Both people like to mirror what is around them. Libra is Venusian and Cancer is Lunar. Both the Moon and Venus are like soft and connective tissues. They both like to consider other people and they both are skilled in care. Cancer and Libra even have the same sense of humor. They are both quietly goofy.

In fact, the two signs are so similar that other people around them might assume them to be more intimately connected than they are at all. People will ask Libra how a Cancer they both know is doing. Someone will ask Cancer whether they’ve heard from a mutual friend who is a Libra. When set up for dates, Cancers and Libras get pushed together. In group outings, both are invited.

The thing is, Cancers and Libras have some tension but because neither are very confrontational no one might know about what tensions exist. If both are present in a room, they are also unlikely to cause any problems for the larger friend group. So, Cancers and Libras can share community quite easily. I don’t actually think that Cancers and Libras will fight that often. But what would happen if they did?

Cancer is more emotionally dominant than Libra. If Cancer wants to, Cancer can push Libra into some kind of emotional catharsis. Libra is a sign full of subtle gestures and expressions. Like other air signs, Libra runs on charm. Libras are smooth and want to be able to come in and out of situations easily. The thing that Libra hates most is being embarrassed. Cancer doesn’t care. Cancer doesn’t feel embarrassed about being emotional. This is why Cancer is usually able to get a rise out of Libra rather than the one way around.

Conflict isn’t a bad thing. With a Cancer’s push whether that be through an infatuation or fight, Libra can learn to let go a little. The perfectly calibrating charm of a Libra isn’t casual because Libras never get anxious. Libras are smooth because they actually rein themselves in, because they exercise tight control over their feelings.

When a Cancer crushes on a Libra or has an issue with one, I do think that the Cancer can eventually get the emotional reaction they want out of the Libra somehow. I also think that, if the Cancer wants the Libra to stick around, then the Cancer won’t push the Libra too hard. Cancers are great at patience. When they give patience to a Libra and unclench a bit, their Libra will eventually come back.

I think that Cancer and Libra relationships work best when both people are focused on other things. Libras don’t want to get weighed down by Cancer’s deep emotional history because Libras tend to adjust themselves to their partners. Cancers don’t want to exercise their fierce emotional grips on air because then they feel like they are cutting into their own skin. Too much focus on each other can turn healthy friction into needless pain. As long as Cancer and Libra both focus on something else whether that be a community, a project, or family members then they will find a world of care in the other one.