On July 6th 2024, Sonya Massey called 911 because she thought that someone had broken into her house. That very same month, on July 28th 2024, Victoria Lee’s brother did the same because he wanted an ambulance to come and take his sister to the hospital.

The day before Sonya Massey called 911 for herself, her mother had actually done the same. She feared for her daughter’s safety. When she called, she pleaded. “I don't want you guys to hurt her. Please.” She told the responder that her daughter was having a mental breakdown. This was the actions of someone who didn’t know what to do. Her words echo in the first words that Sonya spoke when she opened the door to police: “Please don’t hurt me.”

“Why would we hurt you?” they conjoled. “You called us.”

Once the police were inside Sonya’s house, they asked for her ID. She complied and looked for it. A pot of water sat on the stove. The cops instructed Sonya to go take care of it. “We don’t need a fire while we’re here.” As Sonya poured water down her sink, the cops shot her in the face.

Victoria Lee’s brother called 911 at the request of their mom. He specifically asked for an ambulance and asked that no police come. When he was told that cops would be coming to their family home due to his call, he went down personally to stall them as his mom worked to calm Victoria down because they had not wanted police to come. Victoria picked up a small knife and the brother called 911 again to notify the cops about the knife, hoping to put them more at ease once they showed up even though they were not asked to come.

When the cops came despite not being wanted, the brother was tased and shoved aside. They started to kick down the door. Victoria’s mom used her body to try to prevent the cops from entering until she couldn’t. As soon as the cops entered the apartment, they immediately shot Victoria in the chest. At the time of being shot, Victoria was holding a five gallon bottle of water.

After Sonya was shot, the cops decided to not “waste a medic” on her (their words). Victoria was pulled out of her home without a stretcher even though the cops told her mom that she wasn’t yet dead. No ambulance had been sent even though the brother had called for one. He hadn’t asked for cops. He had asked for an ambulance. No help arrived.

I don’t think Sonya Massey wanted cops to come either. She said, “Please don’t hurt me.” Her mom hadn’t wanted cops to come either. “I don’t want you guys to hurt her. Please.” These are not the words of someone who seeks out cops unless desperate.

Looking these two incidents over, I start to feel a little crazy. I feel like I’m reading a murder mystery with no ending. What was the cause of murder so that we can all avoid it? Both women were holding water. What is so threatening to cops about women who are holding water? Is it the water itself? The look of the woman who is holding the water? Why were both women murdered in their own homes?

Sonya Massey tried everything to protect herself. She begged the cops not to hurt her as soon as they entered. She complied with their requests. She was getting rid of the water. She was already scared when the cops came because she thought that someone was in her home but she held her ground to try to protect herself against the men who had come. Sonya’s mother tried everything she could to protect her daughter.

Likewise, Victoria’s mom tried everything in her power to protect her daughter. She requested an ambulance. She sent her son down to put his body between the police and his sister. She had him call to communicate thoroughly with the cops even though they had not want police to come. As a last resort, she used her own body to try and hold the door closed.

I feel a little crazy. I’ve been feeling paranoid lately and the cops stationed in every subway station don’t help matters. What was the cause of death? Was it because Sonya Massey had told the cop she shot her that she “rebukes him in the name of Jesus”? Surely those are just words. If a scared woman making tea can hold her ground and comply with cops she’s obviously scared by, then the man holding the gun doesn’t need to feel afraid of some words. And Sonya had apologized for what she said. “I’m sorry,” were her last words.

Victoria Lee had already dropped the knife she was holding when the cops entered. She was holding a water bottle. Was it the mere presence of a small knife on the floor that made the cop pull the trigger to his gun? Surely, someone holding a loaded gun close to an exit doesn’t feel scared of a knife that no one was holding. We all have knives somewhere in our homes. We use knives to cut fruit, sometimes struggling to tear the skin of a tomato if a knife hasn’t been sharpened for a while.

The superstitious part of me keeps trying to look for patterns because I want to ward off whatever evil had been summoned those nights away from myself. Sonya Massey was 36 years ago and Victoria Lee was 25. They were both going through a Jupiter return. Both of them were holding water. They were shot in July. Sonya Massey lived in Springfield, Illinois and Victoria Lee lived in Fort Lee, New Jersey. I’ve been to both these places. I was on a bus that needed to make a stop in Springfield. I visit Fort Lee for Korean food and for the spa.

Both women were killed in their own homes. Could this fact be remarkable at all? Our homes are places where we feel at ease and that comfort can read as threatening to easily triggered outsiders. Women are taught how to set other people at ease at the expense of their own comfort. Both Sonya Massey and Victoria Lee were killed in their own homes, in places where they are supposed to be comfortable. Comfortable women must make other people uncomfortable. Men with loaded guns especially don’t seem take well to comfortable women.

I’ve had cops called on me before. At the time, a doctor had messed up something in a prescription so I heard voices all the time. I had pushed away all my friends that year and suspected my coworkers of planning against me. When I realized that cops were coming, I stilled myself inside. I found a way to pretend to not be crazy. Reading about Sonya Massey and Victoria Lee brings me back to that time. I feel like I could have known these women.

Hearing about Sonya and Victoria feels like a wake up call. “Don’t get too comfortable,” my mind tells me. “Never ever get too comfortable, especially not in your home. If you get comfortable, you’ll get careless.”

My mind is whispering to me, telling me to not get too comfortable and to exercise vigilance at all costs. The facts of each case are laid out to me in local news reports and national ones. I know what my imagination refuses to accept—neither Sonya Massey nor Victoria Lee were comfortable. Neither of them were careless. They and their mothers tried everything in their power to ward off the evil that came. They did everything right. And, yet, the paranoid part of me hopes that fear can somehow construct safety.