I happen to have Saturn in the first house. Because people tend to somehow choose astrologers who share placements with themselves, so do many of the people who come to see me.

People usually think that Saturn in the first house is about getting things done. Being disciplined, businesslike, pragmatic and hard on ourselves—all that shit. Sure. Sometimes. But I want to complicate this a bit. First, let me ask you what the basic momentum of Saturn looks like. Is Saturn like Mercury who whizzes through the skies? Is it like Venus who goes under and comes up again cyclically?

No, Saturn is not like either of those two planets. Saturn is slow. Saturn is both dim and slow.

People who have Saturn in the first house are mostly still. We don’t like to move! We like to sit and think. Sometimes, we sit and think for too long. That’s why having Saturn in the first house can mean that someone is hard on themselves. We tend to sit and think about something for far too long.

Think about the energy of Saturn’s day which is Saturday. Do you want to move on Saturday? No, you don’t. You are sluggish. You are slow. You have what’s called a weekend hangover. You sit around and you reflect on what the hell happened this last week, ruminating and examining.

That’s the energy of Saturn. Saturn is about examination. In the first house of self, Saturn is about self examination. The reason why Saturn is the most contradictory planet, ruling the powerful and the oppressed, is because examination requires that you understand both parts of your contradictions. Saturn in the first house is about holding self contradiction.

Do people with Saturn in the first house get a lot done?

Depends. We actually can. Saturn in the first house causes stillness. What happens when a kind of lazy person needs to actually rise to get a task done? That’s right—we try our best to find the most efficient method possible. Remember, Saturn in the first house people don’t like to move around a ton but we like to sit and think. That does give us time for planning, for brainstorming, and for strategy.

Saturn in the first house people tend to worry about the result—the bottom line. “What is the point of doing all of this?” we tend to ask ourselves again and again. If there is no point, then we don’t do it. “What result will my action cause?” We’re not into making a bunch of flowery statements or declaring our politics performatively. We want a result if we are going to go through the motions of doing something. If there is a point, then we try to find the fastest way to get a result.

Yes, you might say that Saturn in the first house people are good at detecting bullshit. You can also say that, we’re a bit lazy and we don’t like to be bullshitted around unnecessarily.

Laziness is the best bullshit detector. People have a hard time tricking you into doing things if you are super resistant to doing anything in the first place.

Activity isn’t the only thing that Saturn in the first house tends to resist. Saturn in the first house is super resistant towards many things. That’s why people with this placement can be so contrarian. We tend to resist most ideologies, aesthetics that take too much effort, and anything that is too popular.

Saturn in the first house doesn’t want to do what everyone else is doing. If the crowd is moving west, then Saturn in the first house doesn’t go west. We don’t move east either. We just remain still, standing in the middle, waiting for the tides to shift again.

Sometimes, Saturn in the first house can feel like denial. Remember, our first reaction to something is usually “no.” That goes for flirtation too. If you flirt with a Saturn in the first house person, they will look away. They might even depart. They put physical distance between themselves and you especially if they are into you. Why? Because Saturn in the first house will resist even our own feelings.

There will be moments when Saturn in the first house feels almost like an impermeable mask that one can’t take off. That mask is your face. A face will start to feel like a mask when we start to doubt our control over it. That’s the problem that Saturn in the first house is always wrestling with—do we have control over ourselves? Is control found in participation or through denial?

You know those dreams that you get sometimes about riding in a car that you’re not driving that are about feeling like you lack control over your own life? If you have those dreams, then control is important to you. The energy of those dreams is like Saturn in the first house.

Saturn in the first house is about resistance as instinct. No, we don’t want to participate! We like being able to push ourselves away. We want to hover in the background, a bit doubtful, before we join in. Usually, Saturn in the first house takes the position of the witness. We don’t want to directly join in. We want to observe first.

These people don’t like to spend a lot. We actually don’t like to live big. We keep our lives minimal so that we can manage them without too much effort. If you need too much control over yourself, then your life does tend to become smaller.

If you are in a relationship, try and remember that our self denial of pleasure and luxury and even time can be very painful. We don’t like to spend a lot on ourselves. Our stomachs can’t even take that much food. That’s why we tend to slow down our consumption, why we don’t let ourselves have nice things, and why our lives can grow so small and minimal unless otherwise challenged.

Remember that we actually don’t want that much control even though we do. In our fantasies, we dream about surrender. We need to be restrained before we allow ourselves pleasure. If Saturn tries to grasp control, it also dreams about losing it.

My friends tell me that I am good at giving structure to things. I think that I am actually good at letting things go. Structuring projects is actually easy if you don’t think that anything is precious. I believe that you don’t need all of your ideas. If a part of me is taking too much time to tend to, I tend to discard and move on.

So, that’s a bit of a numbness right there. That’s okay. I have Saturn in the first house. I’m not here to indulge in every single one of my emotions. I do let go of parts of my past. I can be a bit ruthless with myself even though I am learning to soften.

That’s the challenge of Saturn in the first house. With the stillness, trying to include some patience. Not everything in life has to be rejected. Not everything in your past needs to be discarded. Saturn in the first house can be hard on ourselves. We can be good at doubting ourselves. This isn’t about control as much as existentialism. Saturn, the planet of mortality? Yes, we are aware of time passing by even as we sit and dwell.