Okay, so this month is a little INTENSE. The transits of this month touch on a primal part of all of us—that of survival. When our survival is under threat, that’s when our fight or flight instinct kicks right in and we’re screaming with full strength about how much we hate one of our friends while trying to get the hell out and they’re trying to figure out how they set us off.
October 2019 wants us to consider two things: 1) how we’re feeding ourselves in a primal and naive way and 2) how we’re feeding ourselves in a ceremonial and ritualistic way.
Part of finding our naive selves is the descent. We have to duck down deep into sleep, fall into a hole, and lose our ability to call objects what we’ve been calling them all this time. As Pluto retrograded this summer, that was us in the hole.
Pluto stations at the same time the moon’s north node (where it crosses into the northern hemisphere) crosses the fixed star Sirius. I like to call this star the lone star after Texas’s flag because the USA’s sun is right on it. What this star is about is emergence. Like the USA itself, it likes to have a new and improved attitude towards things.
The good thing about that period of time right after we have fallen into holes and emerge with full body injuries is that we’re finally in a stage where we just don’t give a single fuck about what anyone else has to say about us. We’re learned to feed ourselves in a hole for god’s sake, without any ready food sources around and blocked on every side. We’ve become certified scavengers.
The full moon in Aries, square the recently relieved Pluto, is about both sides of this dynamic. On one side, we have the hand to mouth type of feeding where we don’t know where our next meal is coming from. On the other, we have the ceremonial eating of tiny, little communion wafers that don’t have any nutritional substance but matter symbolically. We meet the craven and polite parts of ourselves.
What both of these types of eating have in common is that, central to the feeding process, is a person who must be willing to fill another person’s mouth. The first type of feeder, that primal feeder of an animal giving its own body or meal to another, sacrifices themselves completely. The second type of feeder, the one who feeds in a church or institution, builds the self and, with it, its context.
Questions to consider in October:
How do you feed yourself in a primal or naive way?
As you feed yourself in a primal way, what older version of yourself are you sacrificing?
How do you feed yourself in a ceremonial or learned way?
As you feed yourself in a ceremonial way, what newer version of yourself are you constructing?
Libra
You’re finally ready to feel comfortable in privacy. This has not been easy. It’s taken a lot of reckoning of the home where you grew up. Maybe you had to move. Maybe you had to figure out a relationship with someone you live with. Maybe you had to relive some of your triggers so that you can retrain yourself to react differently to your surroundings.
The old version of you, the one who was paralyzed by ancestral shit, has to be turned into mulch to feed the version of you who emerges, understanding things in a way that your ancestors never did. You can see more not because you’re wiser but because you have hindsight. This creates space for you. Use it.
Scorpio
I want you to remember a time from when you were a child when there was some kind of snack or meal or dessert and everyone got a piece except you. I bet, when that happened to you, that you felt pretty bad about it. Not only did you not get what everyone else got or got less of it, you also felt left out, forgotten, and abandoned.
This primal wound makes you look at a pool of resources, anticipate the threat of competition taking it all away from you, and freeze so that you cannot participate in your own genius. You have the power to change what you forecast as ruthless competition into sensible cooperation. Remind everyone that you work with that, because you know that you’re worth everything that you dream of that they are too.
Sagittarius
Stop consuming your own leisure time as if it were a product sold back to you. There is no reason for you to have to spend $50 when you go out with some friends. There’s no reason for you to spend any money for your to develop relationships. The more you do this and treat your free time as time where you’re only spending money, the more you will feel as if your friendships are eating you alive and feeding your vital substance away from yourself.
This isn’t about spending time alone versus spending time with people. It’s about spending time creatively versus spending time consumptively. You are so much bigger than the system you live within. Make a point of living with people in a way that supports you. Do some projects with people and make money. Don’t buy drinks or meals just to socialize.
Capricorn
Your place in the world is simply the moment you allow yourself to exist. You’re very good at dealing with tense conflict and volatile life changes. You may be in perfect form during emergencies and through catastrophe but do you even know what a blessing looks like? Would you recognize it when you see it coming your way fast enough to receive it?
There’s an important decision that you have to make in regards to home and this month is the best time the make it. The best way to make it is to recognize all of your supports, your blessings, and your fortunes so that you can make a habit of choosing the best thing for you and not the worst.
Aquarius
Are you so worried about being busy that you can’t even relax when you have time to just lay down and dream for a second? What you’re find, if you’re trying to plan everything in the immediate and distant future, is that your plans will fall apart. You’re wasting time to just do when you try to make schedules and checklists.
You’re get everything that you need to do done. In order to do so with the finesse that you’re so used to being capable of, look for synchronicity. These are the overlapping pieces of reality that you can’t map until you run into them. Leave enough room in your life for these types of accidents or else everything you do will feel incredibly forced.
Pisces
You have become capable of leading other people in a way you’ve never done before. Not only that but you have proved yourself fit to be the leader that people look to. All you have to do now is show up, speak with a different attitude than you’re accustomed to, and handle it well when anyone contradicts you.
Community is such a buzzword now that I hate to use it but you have the ability to define the real thing. It’s not superficial to you. You’re able to bring people together to meet each other in their survival traumas and with the purpose of supporting one another. Don’t be afraid to use that skill. There’s someone looking up to you getting inspired by you as you read this.
Aries
The word career carries a lot of trauma for you. Too often, it’s been a word that devours you from limb to limb. You have often sat on the train going home and felt like your entire being, strength and time combined, was swallowed by a single time commitment. You have felt nihilism, that supreme form of rationality, when it comes to managing yourself.
The only thing you can do is choose the time commitment which strengthens you. What line of work has you getting up and feeling hungry/excited in the mornings? When do you feel like you can motivate yourself because your word gives you life? Choose that thing, whatever it is.
Taurus
This is a good time to mess up. Remember that the opposite of success is not failure but the inability to try. While you might feel uncomfortable when you lack a focus, this month is important because screwing around for a bit and messing around the some of the right things and some of the wrong things will give you everything that you need to even think about the future.
Leave large gaps in your schedule no matter how busy it is. Save some money to be spent. I’m talking about gaps of several weeks or months and enough money to say screw it and take a day trip somewhere you’ve never been before. This is key because right now is when you’re impressing yourself with your own capacity for mobility.
Gemini
When you externalize things, you try to prove yourself by giving more than you have to everyone who doesn’t take you seriously. Do you actually want anyone who doesn’t have the time of day to take a look at you to see you? What do those people actually represent to you for your to take their frame of reference so seriously?
When you stop feeling fear in hypotheticals, you can feel stronger because you have so much more going for you than the lacks say you do. Choosing strength has to do with the courage of realizing that some of the people who pressured you into the wrong things didn’t have your best interests at heart. It also has to do with finding the ability to choose only what you know to be good for you.
Cancer
You may be put into quite a different role than you’re used to. If you’re used to being the junior who looks for everyone’s guidance, you might find that you’re in the position of being someone else’s mentor and vice versa. This is okay and good because you have learned yourself well and are perfectly capable of being a guiding light to someone in your life.
Resist the urge to resist this new role, to think that you’re not developed enough or good enough or whatever it is. Also resist the urge to let this new role make you into someone else. You are who you are because of who you are and that person is someone who is perfectly capable of leading others into success.
Leo
Stop being busy for the sake of being busy. Whatever is emerging in your subconscious won’t be able to come out unless you spend some time chilling out in your own room. It’s likely that your own process for getting things done, for doing a good job, and for finding accomplishment has completely changed this summer. If you don’t give yourself time off, you’re going to be tempted to go back to your old ways.
Throwing yourself into activity after activity rehearses your already learned habits. This is not something that you will feel satisfied doing because you know that the real work you must do right now is much more related to habit breaking. You can only break habits by doing something that you don’t know how to do.
Virgo
If the right kind of love doesn’t seem to exist for you, then your job is to define it into being. You have to just make it up and trust that its true. If you find that you’re too busy making money and making love to figure out what that thing which makes your type of love unique is, then you need just slightly more time doing exactly what it is you want outside of anyone’s expectations of you.
If you’re hungry, then eat. If you’re tired, then sleep. If you want a bath, then take a bath. This month, make a habit of feeling a hit of satisfaction each and everyday. Don’t try to find a reason to do it. This is your life and it’s meant to make you feel alive.
