Pop astrology tends to overemphasize aspects, particularly because of the overemphasis of Sun sign synastry. Signs which square each other are thought of as a bad thing and signs that are trine each other are thought of as positive. There can be a lot of “oh no”s at the thought of an Aries dating a Cancer versus a lot of “aww”s when a Scorpio dates one.

Squares and trines are actually very similar. Both squares and trines are about difference and change. They emphasize two types of difference and, in doing so, just talk about relationships between signs.

Squares are about differences in element. Trines are about differences in modality. That’s it. That’s the only difference between squares and trines.

When two planets square each other, one is earth/water and the other is fire/air. Planets that square each other will always share one quality and that is modality. Planets that square each other are interested in different things but sharing timing. Planets trine each other when they are in the same element but are of a different modality. That means that they are interested in similar things but keep time differently.

So, you see, an Aries who dates a Cancer isn’t so bad after all. Both these Sun signs might be interested in different things and have separate lives but they both live to move quickly. They share expectations about timing. A Scorpio dating a Cancer can also have a nice time since they are both interested in sitting in feelings but the pace at which they try to do this will not be the same.

There is not that much difference between “hard” aspects and “soft” aspects. Both just show you where points in your chart are in conversation and both show you differences and similarities in terms of the conversations that these two points in your chart will have.

But aspects are not even the most important thing in a chart. It is possible to do entire readings that are very deep without taking aspects into account. And not all astrologers look at aspects by degree. When you draw the chart in a square shape in which the angles are emphasized, you don’t actually look at aspects by degree at all.

Aspects are relationships that describe sign to sign relationships. Therefore, planets might not be in aspect to one another even if they are very close to 90º or 120º or 60º or 180º or 0º by aspect if they are in signs that don’t aspect one another if they don’t share modality and are not in similar elements.

But you don’t have to get that deep into it if you don’t want to. I think a part of why aspects are overemphasized is because it is an aspect of astrology that appears very technical and precise. It is also something that affects synastry charts a lot. People yearn for certainty and technical precision when they are falling in love.

But astrology is not about technical precision or certainty. It’s about storytelling and conversation. And, if you are a Cancer, there is no reason to avoid either Aries or Scorpio.