Leo North Node, Aquarius South Node

April 20, 2021, 5:57 p.m.

I have to be honest—this is the nodal axis that I have the least experience with. People with Leo north node and Aquarius south node who come to see me tend to be either in their forties or eighteen or nineteen. Most of my clients are in their twenties or thirties. However, over the years and after having done thousands of readings, I have had enough clients with this nodal pattern to notice a couple things.

One thing that I’ve noticed about Leo north node people is that they have a certain reluctance to get into romantic relationships and a complete commitment to relationships once they get into them. They also tend to date people who are very different from themselves, whether that is by generation or location or language.

Folks with Aquarius south node also tend to be expected to behave more maturely than they are ready for at a young age and they tend to grow up quickly once they get the chance to do so. A lot of the younger gen z people with Aquarius north node, because they experience an alienation from the family while yearning for acceptance from a broader community, tend to have worse boundaries with the internet. Not always, but often.

The older gen x folks with Aquarius south node tend to play a huge role in their IRL communities, get quickly exhausted by playing a strong leadership role, and then tend to move places a lot because they can start to feel trapped by their location and commitment to the local community. They tend to be the person who everyone feels like they can rely on who no one really knows much about.

This is because, while Leo north node people seem like they are always idealistically and naively yearning for some kind of community acceptance, they get exhausted when they completely identify with any group. Their belief in people power is so strong that they experience a disappointment of their ideals within social spaces as total. They often blame themselves for failing to set an example of strong leadership within groups even when that example was not set for them.

It is hard for Leo north node Aquarius south node people to share their voice and talent with the world. They tend to believe that things have to be perfect before they can take something that they made and show it to people. These people are artists and lovers and they are incredibly romantic. But being seen as romantic? Wow, that is a lot harder. Aquarius south node people are terrified of what might happen if they are seen to be silly.



Assumptions about Leo north node, Aquarius south node



I do think that there is this idea that people with south node in Aquarius are cold or emotionally unintelligent. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

The thing is, Aquarius south node people are a little shy. They have to work at being social. But emotionally unintelligent? No. A lot of the time, Aquarius south node people have huge responsibilities at home. They are expected to operate in their homes as if they are adults before they are. They do a lot of problem solving and emotional labor for the family. These guys are used to carrying a lot of emotional work. They are anything but emotionally unintelligent.

The reason why Aquarius south node is reluctant to get involved closely with people is because they are taught that love is work. They are taught that love means that you do the work of teaching, or listening, and of giving to another person.

The other assumption that I see about north node in Leo people is the idea that romantic relationships will either always be very hard for them or save them. This is false because romantic relationships are hard for everyone and they never save you. This comes from the conflation of Leo with heart matters and romantic love. While Leo north node people do learn from the heart, Leo north node doesn’t mean that they are learning to accept romantic love all the time but that they are learning how to accept their own hearts.



Security Issues: Aquarius South Node



Aquarius south node people feel very alienated from other people! This alienation can be around family, their peers, or from past versions of their own identities. There is an expectation of loneliness here, I’ve seen, and people with south node in Aquarius seem to have this innate acceptance that life will always carry a small amount of loneliness.

This shows up in a variety of ways. Sometimes, you’re the only queer kid in town. Other times, you’re the girl who is not like other girls. Maybe you’re the only person of your race in your school. Maybe you experienced painful betrayal by a parent and learned alienation as a defense mechanism.

However this shows up, Aquarius south node often feels like they are living in a world without the language to describe them. They feel like they have given up on being accepted before they have tried. There is a jadedness here because it is hard to hope. And what Aquarius south node really does need to learn is the language of hope.

Aquarius south node people believe in pure love. This is very hard for them to admit because it means that they will need to accept that their hope can sometimes bring them pain.

What sometimes happens, though not all the time, is that the acceptance that no one will ever understand them can lead people who have Aquarius south node to stay in situations or groups where they are not understood and where their needs are not being reciprocated. What tends to happen, in these situations, is that groups of strangers, people Aquarius south node doesn’t know very well, get idealized.

It is safer to love a stranger than it is to love a friend because a stranger never can disappoint you, as long as you keep your distance. It is easier and more painful in the long term to believe that true acceptance will come once you find the right people than to understand that capitalism alienates us to one another and working on relationships takes the acknowledgement of real fear and harm.



Fears: Leo North Node



The hardest thing for Leo north node to accept is that they want to be loved, that they deserve to want love, and that wanting love does not make them less impenetrable.

Love is a hard thing. Love is a want, not a need. You are not entitled to love from any specific person but you are entitled to the wanting of love because you are alive. Because the receiving of love is not an entitlement but the yearning of it is, love can be deeply painful.

It is also possible to go through the motions of love with someone who doesn’t accept you. Sometimes, it can seem easier to do so even if it doesn’t get easier in the long run. Sometimes, refusing to claim the desire for love can make Leo north node people stay where that desire is unwelcome. Sometimes, this feels falsely safer than doing the vulnerable thing and admitting that you need social acceptance.

Recognizing the right to need love is also different from the right to claim love from any specific person. This is why love is sometimes thought of as a need and other times as a want. It is not fair to be entitled to any one person’s love, Leo north node thinks to itself. That’s why they should do the right thing and just never want anything from anyone. It’s the right thing to do.

This isn’t true. While you can’t claim love where it is not given, you still have a right to desire love. And to desire something that you can’t control, something that can only be given generously or not at all—that’s not a bad thing. Wanting love is a sign of strength and hope. It is not a lack or wound but a whole.



Healing and Growth



Aquarius south node Leo north node people must learn that they can, too, become silly people. They have to learn that the versions of adulthood that they tried to emulate growing up are not the only types of adulthood available. They have to accept that they, too, were children once and that they did things and wanted things that only children could want.

Not everything is your fault—reclaiming responsibility over something can be a cope. It can be a way of trying to assert control over your own desires. Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes, growing up has to do with unlearning lessons.

Aquarius south node Leo north node people have a watcher on the wall complex in which they like sit back on the sidelines and see something happen before they decide whether or not they want to get involved or not. They watch their crushes, trying to gauge whether or not they will get hurt, before they get involved. They watch other people play games, resisting that urge to participate, because they’re unsure or whether or not they belong.

What Aquarius south node Leo north node people are afraid of is getting it wrong. This is because they are so used to claiming responsibility over other people. In reality, no one cares whether they get something wrong. In reality, getting it right or wrong is often not as important as just trying it out.

Aquarius south node Leo north node people thrive when they get things wrong. They thrive when they meet partners in the wrong way, when they say the wrong things, when they work the wrong way, when they find work the wrong way, and when they find purpose the wrong way.

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