Part of why I love visual kei so much is because the performers create their own unique styles, outside of imitation of western influences and outside of orientalized styles too. hide was so influential in this musical genre because he was one of those people who didn’t seem to copy anyone, who represented the dissatisfaction of an entire era with styles that looked new and unique.

We’re lucky that hide’s mom was generous enough to share his exact birth time with the world so that we can look at his natal chart in detail. She said that she remembered he was born at 8 AM sharp, because she remembered that snow had started falling.

hide’s style has always prioritized originality over fitting in because of his triple fire. He’s Leo rising, Sagittarius Sun, and an Aries Moon. No matter what, he stands out. His mom says that, since he was very young, he’s always felt that he is special and wanted to be a superhero. Of course he would grow up to be a superstar.

His fifth house Sun, ruler of his chart, makes him playful. He’s all about bright color, having fun on stage, and his songs are always funny. He’s a dare devil and completely mischievous. When he decides something, there is no changing the mind of an Aries Moon. All the fire gives him courage and the will to do whatever it is he wants.



With Pluto, Uranus, and Mars in the second house, a Chiron in the eighth opposite the intensity in the second, a midheaven in Taurus, a debilitated Venus, and the ruler of the second (Mercury) is in retrograde, a lot comes to mind about self worth. All these aspects make it hard for hide to develop a sound sense of self esteem.

Uranus disrupts, Mars strips down, and Pluto perpetually destroys whatever house they are in. Second house is the house of self valuation. The retrograde Mercury in Capricorn means that hide overthinks and second guesses what he thinks he is able to receive and what he thinks that he is worth. hide’s mom said that he’s always been careful about money, that he’s never asked her for any and was frugal about what he had. A midheaven in Taurus means that materialism weighs hide down and that he seeks to prove himself materially because he feels that worthiness is a personal obstacle. He struggles to make himself feel worthy.



Venus in Scorpio is pretty powerful, but Venus never feels comfortable in Scorpio. If Venus is how we are able to trust, hide’s Scorpio Venus can make it hard to trust in his own self worth. A debilitated planet is always trying to prove itself. hide’s Venus tries to work for self value by influencing others, constantly assessing self worth based on how he can affect other people and how how other people affect him.



A Chiron in in eighth house, however, will make him feel that he is simultaneously unable to leave a larger social impact or form trusting and intimate relationships. There’s an insecurity here. Look again at all his videos and you’ll notice that he’s relatively self contained. When you watch him work with others, he doesn’t really shape them into his vision of the project but let’s them do what they like, contributing each of their own unique styles into the project. In all hide’s projects, he’s a team player. It’s always hide and Zilch or hide and Spread Beaver, never just hide as a solo project even if he’s the one with all the star power. With Saturn in Aquarius in the seventh house, this live and let be aspect of hide’s style works because it makes them so individualistic. hide’s lack of air and retrograde Mercury, can make it hard for him to communicate with the people he works with.



However, he may not have been a person who felt he deserved all that he had achieved. He may have felt unable to own his own empire.



The retrograde Mercury squares hide’s Moon and the second house stuff squares his Sun. These challenges to self worth aren’t things hide can ignore. They have a direct impact on his ability to feel confident and safe. Though hide is fire, the earth makes him a contained fire, like the beginning of a flame that needs dry logs to shield it from the wind. Too much and the fire could go out. His moments of wackiness are never totally rebellious. The whole time hide was in X, he was never the one who caused drama. He tends to go along with what other people ask of him.



hide was about the give up on music and become a hairdresser before he joined X. With his placements, no doubt that money was a concern. It took Yoshiki recognizing hide’s talent and hiring him to convince hide to do the thing he was so good at—music. At the time, Saturn transited hide’s Sun. Saturn rules hide’s seventh house, or other people in his life, and his Sun rules the first house, or self definition. This transit would have had the effect of other people shaping his self image. Right when hide was about to give up, someone charismatic and influential, Yoshiki, came along and told hide that he deserved what he wanted in life, that he was worthy, and that he should join this band. Transiting Chiron, the healer, trine hide’s natal Saturn points to someone who helps hide that year. The next year, hide’s Jupiter returned in the tenth house, related to career, and he began a career that made him into a cultural force.



Throughout his career, hide had no problem with getting paid less than Yoshiki, who paid himself more and held the most creative control in X. Now, Yoshiki has always been a controversial figure, with bars that had signs saying “No Yoshiki” up and there just being a lot of personal drama surrounding him. He’s an incredibly accomplished person, with a naturally charming Libra Moon and powerful Scorpio Sun. People seem to revere Yoshiki like a cult figure and they should. He took an underground Japanese scene and carried it into a mass, international market. It was Yoshiki who pulled off the original crazy rich Asian move by buying a recording studio and banning Metallica when they wouldn’t let him use it because Metallica had wanted to.

If someone in my own community had businesses that prohibited their specific presence and paid themselves more than all their friends, not letting them make musical decisions on songs they were playing, I would watch out for them. When this everyone somewhat successful seems to worship and never criticize this person, my suspicion meter goes straight through the roof.

But anyway, I’m just pointing this out because, after all this, and Toshi leaving the band to join a cult, hide was in conversation with Yoshiki about restarting X.



At this point, hide was at the height of his solo career. He had remade his style on his own and distinguished himself from X. In the two years that he worked solo, he made an incredible and distinct body of work.

I can understand staying in a band where a single band mate was getting paid a lot more than everyone else when that band mate is the one pulling most of the weight, especially if you like being creative (fire placements), don’t like asking for money (Second house,Taurus, and Venus stuff), and feel the need to lean on someone (Saturn in seventh house). I can’t imagine going back to work with that person when you’ve built your own empire without them and have something really great going for yourself.

I’m sure that Yoshiki had his own grand vision. I’m sure that he was a source of inspiration to all his band mates. No one else was able to do what he did, after all, not Dynamite Tommy or Kiyoharu or Mana. He had a vision of creating a cultural phenomenon when he was eleven years old and he achieved it, which is phenomenal.

What I’m trying to get at it that hide, with all his talent and star power, never seemed to have felt completely worthy of turning his dreams into reality without at least one other person standing by his side. He didn’t choose to pursue his dreams before he met Yoshiki. He always worked in collaboration, whether with Yoshiki, or Luna Sea, or I.N.A. hide never even managed himself, but had his brother handle the business side of things. With all his Venus/second house stuff, there’s a big question of whether he would have felt that fame, money, and freedom for himself and himself only was worth the work, or if he was someone who would always have to say that they’re doing all that they’re doing for someone else’s sake.

After X, hide was no longer working only in Japan. He was spending a large portion of his time in Los Angeles. He started a new band called Zilch with two members of Spread Beaver and three white guys. This was in the late nineties when there were pretty much no Asians in the music scene at all.



A Saturn in second house person, who sees other people as a source of authority with obstacles to their own self esteem trying to be a tokenized Asian in America’s music industry would have been extremely alienating. Compare the videos of the making of Rocket Dive to the making of Electric Cucumber. In Rocket Dive, hide was laughing and joking around with Spread Beaver. In the filming of Electric Cucumber, you never saw the white people interact with him.



On top of that, he had immense pressure because he was already extremely famous in his home country to prove himself in the American market. Because Saturn in house seven puts authority in the hands of others, it gives great sensitivity to the expectations of others. A person of color with Saturn in house seven tends to give authority to white people. At the time of his death, hide had a Saturn that was approaching his midheaven, progressed Mercury conjunct natal Mercury, Uranus on his descendent, Pluto trine his Sun, and Neptune squares the midheaven.



Saturn transiting the midheaven is a lot of pressure. You feel that you are not meeting expectations and go crazy trying to figure out how to, while maintaining your own self respect. Midheaven is oppression and so is Saturn. Because hide’s natal Mercury is retrograde, it progressed to Sagittarius before turning direct and approaching its natal position. This spells a turning point in his values, where he understands the problems in his past. Uranus in hide’s descendent began when Toshi left X, breaking his social pattern and what people knew him for up. hide’s group broke up and for a Saturn in seventh house person, someone who relies on others, this is ungrounding.

Pluto trine the Sun doesn’t have to be bad. None of these transits do. Saturn on the midheaven made hide take his personal goals more seriously, while Pluto trine Sun made him more powerful. The progressed Mercury return liberates hide from past patterns of self doubt. Uranus in the descendent gave him more freedom in terms of who he choose to be around. We saw that with hide producing this massive body of work, touring, and building a solo reputation in a tiny amount of time in collaborations with a huge number of people, finally daring to put himself in the center. As an artist, he wasn’t like anyone else in the scene and gave birth to new styles and discovering key bands that represent the early 2000s style of visual kei. He made history in those few short years.

Whatever the reason hide killed himself, he was at a personal high. He went on with fireworks, as a triple fire sign who burned away young. Neptune square the midheaven combined with his level of fame creates a cult like glamor. hide’s death inspired three successful copycat suicides, more non-copycat suicides, and several more attempts. Since Neptune is involved, there’s speculation on whether the suicide was intentional, whether it was a kink gone wrong, or if he was relieving pain and slipped. All we know is that he made a grand speech that night with friends about his future plans, as suicidal people are sometimes prone to doing, and left no suicide note. He hung himself on May 2, 1998, the Sun conjunct the midheaven.



In his life, hide influenced everyone because he was an originator, never an imitator. He would always do the unexpected thing and he was never too famous to talk to a four year old boy or promote less well known artists. He never talked down about anyone, would often voice his support of younger musicians, and got bands like Zi:kill, Luna Sea, and GLAY signed. He often made fun of himself and it never felt like he felt entitled to anything just because he was megastar. He was outspoken about queer issues and gender ambiguous simply because he was himself. He never forgot his family, having his nephew onstage sometimes, or his culture, writing four kanji phrases into rock music.

Unlike a lot of famous people, you never feel icky about being a fan of hide. It’s not like the feeling is that he managed to avoid being found out for something gross because of marketing and was secretly an asshole or anything like that, but just a lot of subtle signs that hide was probably a genuinely really cool person. In fact, the deeper you look into him the cooler he gets. Somehow, this is a rare feeling to have for a cultural icon.

R.I.P. pink spider