Ah, Aries. Aries is a contradictory sign. This is the sign that lives like a dog but thinks itself to be a king. It’s a sign that doesn’t care what other people think but tries incessantly to provoke a reaction. Min Yoongi has Venus in Aries. On the cover of his first mixtape, he writes that life is a daily oscillation between rebellion and submission.
This is how Aries sees itself for those of you who aren’t aware since this self image does not always come across exactly the way Aries intends for it to: Aries sees itself as a bratty bottom, a fully mischievous masochist, who cries out because it wants to be smacked around a bit by life. Aries wants to be absolutely dominated by life which is something that we are very hungry for. We want more life. We want to hunt life down and to eat it raw. We don’t want any niceties around it. We want to sink our teeth in.
There is something that other people see in Aries that we ourselves are not always aware of. This is our tendency to take up a huge amount of space.
There is also something that other people don’t necessarily notice in Aries. Other people don’t tend to notice just how little space Aries takes up. Let me explain.
When you see an Aries friend who you haven’t seen for a while, the first thirty minutes will be filled with them catching you up on what they’ve been thinking and feeling. They’ll tell you about their latest obsessions and confessions. These are people who see no problem with forcing you to watch every single video associated with their latest fandom for an entire evening if you allow them to. Aries has no problem talking about ourselves. We don’t really gloat about things because we are more prone to glamorizing our struggles but we will speak energetically and full bodiedly about the things that we care most about.
Aries doesn’t always notice this aspect of ourselves. We don’t realize that we are dominating the conversation. We believe ourselves to be rude and raw, not realizing that tact is sometimes the observance of social structures that are built to allow for more equality of attention. We don’t see it as an issue, and most of the time it isn’t, because we’re not talking about ourselves all of the time. We only talk about ourselves when we really like someone and are trying to impress them. We don’t notice the yawns as we dive into a third iteration of the analysis over the most current workplace drama. We don’t notice when the other person has not gotten the chance to express themselves while in conversation with us. Well, sometimes we do notice. Sucks to be you, we think to ourselves. Maybe you should have cut me off if you wanted to say something.
Aries doesn’t always notice how much space we take up and how much attention we require. Asking for attention is how we show love. I’m just showing you who I am, we think. We don’t realize that our own burning desire to impress another person can be experienced on the other side as a daunting wall of raw energy that is sometimes rejuvenating but other times exhausting to calibrate.
The thing that other people don’t notice about Aries, precisely because new encounters with Aries tend to be so energetically overwhelming, is just how little space we take up.
Aries are loners. We move through the world as loners. This is also why we are so excited to see you and to tell you about all of the thoughts that we have been having for ourselves. For those who are overwhelmed by the first encounter they have with us, they may not notice what we do when we are finished venting or confessing or spieling. When we are finished trying to impress, we move on. We get very quiet. We go and do our own thing alone.
Aries can seem like we take up a lot of social space because we go on and on about the things we like. We’re like toddlers playing show and tell sometimes. However, we don’t take up a lot of social imagination because we don’t really feel a need to control other people. What you do with your life doesn’t really matter to us. If we’re not paying attention to whether you even care about what we’re into, then we’re definitely not paying attention to what you are actually doing.
The overwhelming excitement of Aries only lasts for thirty minutes. We can’t actually sustain the high level of energy that we bring when we first talk to someone. We actually prefer to do things alone. We expect other people to enjoy doing things by themselves too.
I find Aries clients to be very funny because I am also an Aries. An Aries knows that the session is for them and they accept this fact comfortably. Aries clients usually spend the first thirty minutes to an hour talking to themselves. I understand this because when I want to process something with a friend, I mostly also just want to hear myself talk. Aries is capable of reaching all kinds of moments of clarity, epiphanies, and perspective changes just by talking out loud on our own. We are not looking for advice or feedback. The questions we ask ourselves feel more important than the questions other people ask us. When I work with Aries clients, I am reminded pleasantly that the most important thing I bring into a session as an astrologer isn’t anything particularly cool about myself but the fact of my attention. I am there as a witness. When we speak while another person pays attention to us, we understand ourselves in a completely new way. The attention I give a client is what invites their expression.
But this is only the first thirty minutes to an hour. After this venting of energy is exhausted, something else happens. I know it. I’ve been there. Now what? What happens the moment after you’ve expressed yourself? I’ve said everything I wanted to say.
The reason why Aries goes into spurts of raw self expression isn’t consistent. We don’t do it to impress people all of the time. Sometimes, the energy is confessional. We express ourselves with the intent of cutting down an image of ourselves we are tired of upholding. We are raw and vulnerable even when vulnerability demands some self effacement. However, what happens when that part is done? When we have thoroughly expressed ourselves? What do we do then? I think that the moment of exhaustion is a very interesting moment for any exalted placement.
Sometimes, we can only feel real feelings only after we have exhausted the performance or deconstruction of ego. Sometimes, we feel the need to turn away from the situation. Attention no longer feels good. We want to go back to doing our own things now. Sometimes, we push ourselves into further expression. Just a little more.
So, other people see Aries as taking up a lot of space. There is truth in this. Aries, seeing ourselves as underdogs who are dominated by more controlling elements of society, don’t always see this in ourselves. We see ourselves as bruised people who are always getting smacked down. Of course we’re going to be loudmouths. Our desires are innocent.
Other people see Aries as taking up a lot of space because they don’t see us when we are alone. Aries performs for you when you give us the gift of your attention. We sing for you. We prance and we freewheel. We are trying to impress you. We can’t sustain this performance of self for very long because, at the end of the day, we prefer to be by ourselves.
