Welcome to my Astro Advice Column! If you subscribe to my Astro-Kats or Star Kids Club groups you are able to ask me questions about astrology for this advice column.


As an Aquarius venus in a relationship with a Leo venus, an Aries Mercury-ruled (Gemini rising) Pisces in cahoots with a Libra Mercury-ruled (Virgo rising) Virgo.. What are the best ways to maintain balance in a friendship and romantic relationship that are in strong opposition with each other? How can the loud, independent and rebellious Aries keep from stepping on the toes of soft, generous Libra? What can the two learn from each other and how can we keep from misunderstanding the words we share when our words are what we both rely on so heavily?

—Mercurious and Mercuriouser


Your question, Mercurious and Mercuriouser, makes me laugh because I’m an Aries Sun who is dating a Libra Sun. My partner’s Mercury is in Libra but my own is in Pisces. I’m thinking about all of my partner’s close friends, however, many of whom happen to have Mercury in Aries.

This is what I observe—Mercury in Libra isn’t just about softness and grace. For sure, Mercury in Libra is tactful and observant. However, Mercury in Libra is also deeply funny. Mercury is in an air sign when in Libra. It is charming because it’s hilarious. Mercury in Libra doesn’t always say what it means directly not because it’s trying to be soft but because it’s so deeply sarcastic.

Mercury in Libra is an intellectual and intellectuals are often sarcastic. It’s one of the sweetest Mercuries and it gives by always putting itself in another’s shoes. This is true but all patterns of speech have their hardness and softness. Mercury in Libra is soft because it is generous and it is hard because it’s sarcastic.

This is what I observe about Mercury in Aries people. Mercury in Aries is direct. It basically just says whatever is on its mind without thinking about impact. Mercury in Aries is the guileless Mercury. It actually trusts really readily because it has no guile and never expects anyone else to. This is also a type of openness, of generosity.

What I’m trying to say is just that Mercury in Aries has its softness too. Mercury in Aries trusts people with its own heart. It’s direct. Mercury in Aries’s loudness is a type of softness. It reveals its own thinking and whatever it is thinking about. How is that not softness personified?

I have seen Mercury in Aries and Mercury in Libra have great conversations. The two Mercuries can see each other which means that they can really talk. I think that both Mercuries get funnier when around each other. Mercury in Aries can say really inappropriate things but Mercury in Libra tells testy jokes too.

I want to get at your question which is about Mercury in Aries and Mercury in Libra in misunderstanding. Can the two Mercuries misunderstand each other? Sure!

When Mercury in Aries feels misunderstood, it tends to reveal even more. It explains itself in simple and easy to understand phrases. Mercury in Aries tells you exactly what it is thinking. When Mercury in Libra feels misunderstood, it tends to go cold. Instead of speaking from the “I”, Mercury in Libra tends to analyze the entire situation more. “I feel mad because you didn’t hear me,” Mercury in Aries might say. “We are miscommunicating right now,” Mercury in Libra is more likely to say.

When there is misunderstanding, I don’t think that Mercury in Aries’s job is to hold back. First of it, it can’t. Mercury in Aries will just say it. Second of all, Mercury in Libra has its own defenses to give itself time for engagement if it’s not ready for a direct confrontation. Mercury in Libra will come forward and clarify its thinking in time. It will use objectivity before it’s ready. Both Mercuries can trust one another’s style of expression. Mercury in Aries speaks with passion but it doesn’t necessarily hang onto emotion. Mercury in Libra describes the situation but it speaks its emotions in its own way.

Both Mercury in Aries and Mercury in Libra have something to teach the other about clarity. Mercury in Aries is clear because it’s completely transparent. However, Mercury in Aries is also not clear because it can say too much too fast. People need time to process things. Mercury in Libra is clear because it is so eloquent and because it understands exactly what someone else needs to process what is happening. However, Mercury in Libra is also unclear because it doesn’t always share what it’s thinking.

Any set of Mercury placements can misunderstand each other. I think that Mercury in Aries and Mercury in Libra have a very good chance of understanding each other. Both of them are interested in clarity. Aries is fire which gives things visibility. Libra is air which is invisible but transparent.

I hope this helps the question that is fueling your query, Mercuriouser. Based on Mercury placement alone, I feel like you and your partner have a lot of fun chatting and sparring with each other. There’s always other planets to consider but, based on y’alls Mercuries, I feel confident that both of you will get your point across.