Libra stereotypes are hard. There are a lot of Libra types that have to do with beauty. There’s this idea that a good Libra, the right kind of Libra, is someone who sits around and does nothing but look pretty. And that’s pretty much it. There is very little that defines a Libra through stereotype other than that.

Libras are supposed to be good but then they’re a little bad too. They can be quiet or loud. They’re supposedly to endless please other people but have no desires or ambitions of their own. Libras are stereotyped in a very aggressive way. They’re expected to be the thing that you need in that very moment and nothing further.

The idea that Libras are stereotyped to be people pleasers, I think, is a misnomer. Libras are not stereotyped as people pleasers. Libras are stereotyped to be pleasers of men. They are thought of to be brilliant but not too brilliant, to be demure but not too demure, to be rational but not too rational, and to always be pretty.

But what if you’re a Libra who doesn’t want to please men?

There is a lot of debate about whether Scorpio or Capricorn is the most goth sign. I disagree with the conflict and think that this title belongs firmly in the hands of Libra. Libra is the fall equinox, the sign where the Sun falls. Libra is able to humiliate almost anyone.

When you’re not a stereotypical Libra, you’re not rational and perfectly toned and smart but not enough to overshadow a larger ego, and you’re not a perfectly balanced thing that never tries to upset the balance of people who are sensitive without wanting to admit that they are sensitive. When you’re not a stereotypical Libra, you’re not build to mother the sensitivities of other people. You’re not made to be endlessly attentive but never clingy. You’re not a stereotypical Libra because the stereotype of a Libra is not an experience that any real human being lives.

The stereotype of Libra tells you that you mimic other people. But you do not mimic—you mock. Libra stereotypes tell you that you can never make up your mind about something. But you do not live with half a mind. Your doubt is not halfhearted or whimsical. Your doubt is your strength. It shows you what you do not call your own.

The stereotype of Libra tells you that you avoid conflict. But I have met Libras who fight for themselves, for their communities, and for their friends. When Libras fight, they commit to the war. They fight without egos as if they care little about whether or not they win a single battle and more for the outcome that they know is coming. The stereotype of Libra tells you that you care too much about what other people think of you. But Libras don’t really care. They are aware but they don’t really care. When you’re not a stereotypical Libra, you’re an angry Libra. You’re a Libra who gives a shit about something.

The stereotype of Libra tells you that you are insecure and, maybe, there are moments in your life when you believe that this can be true. But isn’t everyone in the world insecure about something? We don’t define other placements through their insecurities the way we do to Libras.

When you’re not a stereotypical Libra, you are not defined by your insecurity. You’re not defined by your doubt and you’re not defined by your relationships. That’s the problem with how we stereotype Libras. It is the only astrological sign that we tend to define through its relationships to other people more than its experience of self. And, as a Libra, your experience of self has to do with your belief that the self is malleable.

And Libras mold their own selves, being malleable. They are sorcerers who become new versions of themselves through sheer force of will. They understand that you must pretend to be yourself until you fully believe that you are who you say you are. This is what makes Libras powerful, because they are people who understand that they are capable of becoming exactly who they want to be.

The stereotype of Libra tells you that you are half a person, waiting for your other half, as a half-hearted person who needs to be swept off their feet by someone more powerful to learn that love is true, and as a half-witted person who needs to be told what to think and believe. But does anyone live like that? Not likely.