I have something to admit. I am an Aries and I’ve dated four different Libras. My partner who I have been with for four years is a Libra Sun, Moon, and rising. Because of this, you’re going to have to take what I say with a grain of salt. I’ll share some things that I’ve learned from life as an Aries from Libras.

One big thing I’ve learned is that Aries and Libra express ourselves differently. As an Aries, if I think that I look cute on a particular day, I don’t need you to give me your opinion. I’ll just walk up to my partner and declare “I look cute” and as long as they take a look in my general direction, I’ll assume that they agree.

Libras don’t do this. If a Libra thinks that they look cute, they won’t declare it to your face. They will say something like “I did my makeup today” or “I’m wearing a new shirt.” When a Libra says this, you’re supposed to compliment them. I’ve made the mistake of not complimenting a Libra when prompted. As an Aries, I don’t always realize when you’re asking for my feedback. I’m more likely to say something like “Oh cool” rather than “the makeup looks cute.”

Aries likes to declare things out loud when we decide to do them. We might take a walk and then say things like “I’m going to clean the kitchen when we get back.” A Libra doesn’t do this either. A Libra will say something like “let’s clean when we get back.”

When an Aries declares things that they mean to do, this sometimes stresses Libra out because Libra is trying to figure out what this statement of intention means for them. If Aries is planning to clean the kitchen, then doesn’t this mean that they expect Libra to do something too? Libra decides to take out the trash while Aries cleans the kitchen. However, Aries doesn’t always notice that this is happening because when Aries declared their own actions out loud, they weren’t thinking about what the other person should do or not.

Aries just likes to say things that we are doing as we do them. If we have to go to the bathroom, we’ll say “I’m going to pee” really loud and make everyone aware. We don’t expect someone else to come pee with us. We just like to say things and feedback isn’t really warranted or asked for.

Meanwhile, Libra is the feedback king. They’ll give their opinion but only when you’re looking for it. Libra gives opinions subtly. They’ll do it through what they don’t talk about, by selecting words carefully and artfully. Is Aries listening when Libra gives feedback? Sometimes. If it’s something that we care about. But very often, the crucial pieces of what a Libra is saying passes right through an Aries’s ears.

You have to smack an Aries to get our attention. Libras don’t really like to smack people in their faces.

Does that mean that Libras get trodden over in a relationship with an Aries? No. In an Aries Libra relationship, the Aries is being told what to do and how to do it. Remember, an Aries doesn’t try to make you do things. A Libra wants you to do things with them. How does a Libra instruct an Aries? Aries doesn’t like to be told what to do. If you’re too direct, we will object on principle. A Libra doesn’t say exactly what it has in mind because being too open tends to invite disagreement. Instead, what a Libra will do is they will make suggestions or talk about “us.” They will give praise if you cook and they want you to cook more.

Aries are very susceptible to Libra’s style of guidance. Aries likes praise. Libra gives praise and this encourages Aries to play right into Libra’s hands.

Aries is where the Sun and Mars take dominance. The Sun likes to make itself known and Mars likes to do things. Libra is where Venus and Saturn take dominance. Venus likes to distribute and Saturn likes to organize.

I’ve gotten the feedback that Aries has the ability to make a Libra feel free to do as they like. A Libra is a person who is always looking for feedback. They have a built in bluetooth that they use to connect to other people. They take on the mannerisms of those around them and pick up tastes here and there. Libras take social feedback seriously and this means that too much judgment can make them ill.

Why does Aries make a Libra feel free? Aries is impossible to bluetooth to. We resist it. We don’t want you to do the same things we do. We don’t want to be copied. We’ll tell you to cut it out. We expect you to go your own way.

That doesn’t mean that Aries can’t be bossy. We like to boss people around, especially when we think that it’s for someone’s own good. Aries likes to play the hero. However, an Aries doesn’t try to control you by making judgments about what you are doing or who you are. What you are doing or saying passes right by our ears. Aries has no manipulation potential. We like to boss people around by barking out orders. Sometimes, we even jump right in and do the things that we think you should do for you.

Orders are much easier to resist than subtle mind games or moral judgments. Libras are undaunted by orders. They are paralyzed by judgment. Aries has no judgment. We are too straightforward. In the best case scenario, Aries does everything for a Libra and, once again, plays right into their hands.

You might think that, between a boisterous and straight shooting Aries and a refined and subtle Libra, that Aries can overwhelm the Libra. Not so. Aries is a ram and sheep can be herded. Libra possesses the art of social power which Aries lacks. Let’s get into Aries and Libra flirting style. When an Aries and a Libra flirt, they both get really funny.

If an Aries likes you, they will taunt you and make fun of you. We’re not mean spirited about it. We’re just testing what we can get away with. We don’t like to take anything seriously. Fire likes to rise up. Aries likes to jab and we like to be jabbed at. Our egos are rough. We sing our own praises, sometimes annoyingly self aggrandizing, but we can also take a hit.

Libra, instead of being self aggrandizing, is self deprecating. I think that Libras like to be bullied by Aries a little. It makes them feel seen. A good Aries taunt doesn’t belittle you or make you feel down. It just tells you that we see you exactly as you are. Libras like to feel seen especially when that witnessing doesn’t carry the pressure of an expectation or compliment. Libras can take an Aries joke at their expense because, being Saturnians, Libras are actually extremely self critical. A little joke at their expense can make their self criticality chill out for a moment.

Libras guide Aries along with suggestions. Aries hits back with taunts the whole time. Aries likes to be guided and Libra likes to be teased.

If Aries and Libra fight, both people actually get what they want. Aries is hot headed and, when we get mad, we really get mad. We start writing manifestos and venting. Libra, on the other hand, turn cold when they get mad. They start scheming and distancing. Aries pulls Libra in and overwhelms them with opinions and facts. “Look at this, look at that. Look what you did wrong here.” The whole time, Libra is silent. They’re not scared. They’re thinking. Overthinking.

During a fight, Libra will allow Aries to get their feelings out and make their points known. Libra will agree with Aries. “Yes, I did do that badly. So sorry.” However, Libra doesn’t care about the fight. They care about consequences that follow. Sometimes, people think that Libra isn’t good at fighting because they use this tactic of avoiding direct confrontation to control the outcome. Not so. Libras don’t care about winning confrontations. They care about planning around confrontations in order to manage the relationship as a dynamic.

An example: If Aries gets mad at Libra for eating their favorite snack, Libra won’t try to fight back at that moment. They will let Aries move through their anger and then hide future snacks in their room away from Aries. Libra will ensure that they always get their own snack. Aries is the one who has to argue hard to get even just a small portion. But Aries also likes to argue. It’s fun for us. We feel that a snack we have fought for is tastier than a snack just given to us. This is an example of how both Aries and Libra get what we want from a fight. Libra gets an extra secret snack and Aries gets to fight for our share.

Anyway, that’s Aries and Libra. We have good times together. I’m an Aries who has dated a lot of Libras and I’m in a long term relationship with a Libra right now. There’s a lot of push and pull but we complement each other well. At the end of the day, we make a comedic duo.